Monday, December 6, 2010

jOuRNaLs oF eXpeRienCe

By JeffeRy OkpaLeKe

The melancholic ideology called tradition
Is settled on my mind
I can't think for this period
(No I can't think straight)
(No I wont employ a quays advice)
tempted to make erratic decisions
And loose my mind
Allow my feelings only to be uncovered by my actions
Words are only a conversation
Actions are the exact words of a conversation
The matter has weighted
And occupies the occupation of life
Life is like a trailer
A short/long story
That just flashes the amazing parts of the clip
In brief
The hero should win in the end
U assume.
You look forward to the happy ending
No! Its all politics in this flick
Yes the good die young.
And hollywood keeps on with production
Its an alcoholics ending I say
Sad and gloomy.
Its an endless journey of suspense
God is your only direction.

sands of time
As the wind of the world
Carries dust away
Men will be born
And pass away

Dear OwerRi*

Dear OwR,
i knOw its been long i said a word*
buh hope i still don't strike u a tuRd, & same goes for those who think i'm a sturb.

i dint rUn,
neither did i still me!!!
the stRike's been called off,
now see if the caT still has my tongue* (Lol)

just messing around,
buh the fact is i've missed y'all

the comments under posts are the icing on my cake,
i love em like a fat kid loves chocolate*

the controversies, a tOkEn
the winds that leave the fowl's buttocks open*

oh, how i miss the incessant blinking of the red notiF lite on my BB,
all from your comments....u chase boredom from me, by just reading through
(i'm sure the feeling is mutuaL)

so all i ask fOR is tHat chancE tO make yOU & mE happy again!!
no one would say they dint enjoy the riDe,
even @ points whr its your ox that's goreD#

for hiTs beLow the beLt,#
i'm sorry*
(that was meaniE me#)

there's twitter, there R bRoacAsts*
i'd get your attention somehow#

nO one knows it all,
let's join hands in redefining mE

#fuck dat shit, wussy tattLeR....uve said enuf already*
I'm in charge now & I'm the me u useD to knw

its pEace Out 4 n\Ow.


Friday, October 8, 2010


Its time for us the youth to be a part of something great, as should be the norm.

I've got biG ideaS for this bLog of mine, and its an idea biG enough for us to share & benefit from.

Its election time

Its no news that many of our aspirants gunning for various positions, are tuRninG to the new media for campaigns. There's twitter, facebook (G.E.J) & different youth outreach sites to get our attention.

If your smaRt enough, you'd have already figured our where I'm going with this....I want our very own to be added to my prior list.

I'm hoping by now, most of us have dislodged the personal vendattas we had with this blog, & now have our eyes open to see that otattleR is biggeR than any person; its our (otowners) voice to the rest of the woRLd & I suggest we begin to use it cautiously, wiseLy.

We have a rigHt to vote, & come 2011 we plan to exercise those rights. We have a right to endorse whomever we deem feat & just to lead us into our best of tomorrows.

So pls no rash comments, we know you knw how to use swear words, under the guise of anonymity. I need your contributions on how to forge ahead, so I'm not labeled unJust as I've been previousLy taGgeD.

I haLf scaRed as to your reactions to tHis post,
But bRinG it on...we'the make it a foRum, doesn't matter wHat kinD.


Sunday, September 12, 2010

BBz & MatchBoxes

My town isn't backward after all, oTowneRs are moving at the same pace as the rest of the world. I'm talking about going along with the bLackBeRry craze that recently swept the country.

Don't go misusing the functions or getting it twisted, the BlackBerry is a business gadget in the sense that it keeps you abreast with the trends as they set & emails on the go, not a medium of gOsSip or a show of class. Having one doesn't make you better than the next, or classier, it onLy means you found it necessary to acquire one.

Its the latest good stuff to hit Nigeria after Opera mini & countless cheat codes; considering the fact that we've got to leave mediocrity and feel at ease paying for services being rendered, the BIS fee, although way too exorbitant at the moment, is a welcome development.

If you've recently realized that you seldom receive phone calls or seem left out of the loop, I'm only guessing its cos you haven't got yourself one. They say it makes friendship a whole lot easier, I think I endorse that school of thought a 100%.

This isn't my usual sinister self, so the MatchBox ish isn't a personal dagger aimed at anyone in particular. An efficient automobile is one that gets you from Point A to Point B, without the hassles of hopping from one keke to another and trekking the rest of the way, on routes you haven't exactly mastered or those not motor able.

My point to this, there's no need waiting to take the highWay to wealth with a 180km/hr speed limit. Just like it is said in the hoLy books, all is vanity and it is always better to learn that sooner than later. So if you're privileged to have a working car, feel free and ride in it with your heads held up high.

Slow & Steady wins the race, I know normally this turkey won't fly with me bUt winning the race is all about arriving the end alive and doing so with the least of regrets. I'm talking about *yAhOo* and its many other fraudulent counterparts, I hear many oTownERs have taken things to the extreme by engaging in despicable acts & taking extreme measures (yAhOo +). In the end, its all vanity, trying to impress, trying to oppress, feeling among, getting more ass than a skirt, they're all vanity. There's a time for everything, its only normal that we should learn to wait.

For my BB folks and those literate enough to access the internet, hit me up with emails, we could run this shit together. If you love my works you could do the same, everyone loves to feel appreciated.

Plus, #FF (follow) me on twitter @otattler. Shout out to my current #FFs to name but a few, @moby247 @chayomao @T_babaa @ceekayMe @icey312 @Mirab3ll3z3 @KokoletteTeddy @prittypreachuju @supar_cee @jayboogie_912 @m3xy_903


Sunday, August 1, 2010

birthing a nEw LeAf witH jUSt wOrDs*!

Turning a new leaf is a prerequisite for not being a withered one*!, so you see...its better L8 than never, when amending our ways is the motive.

'Outta the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks'
»» we are what we say!
'so says the HoLy bOok'

•Good words are imperative for a good life; Asides speaking good things about myself like I always do, I'd also begin speaking good about Otown & I urge y'all to do same, bAd words never produce a +ve effect!

*yOu leAd by exampLe, riGht?
I'm sorry for anY slanderous & image demeaning tattles on my pOst!
it was all done in goOd fate,
But now I understand that you cannot speaK into being any 'GoOD' with bad! & for that, is why I'm sOrRy...I'd adopt a more +ve approach! can't fathom what it would be yet, but I'd strive to*!

We've got bright minds in this tOwn!...we've got ppl with a taste for innovation, we only have to speak & work positivity into it.

*opportunities are endless#
#tHinK it; #spEak it; &#work it into being

StOp tHe rAntinGs about oBiaKu, beneath all that...there's still that common ground we all share! #she'sonLyHumAn

& abOut mY laSt poSt, it was all about speculations...I dint say for certain dAt any oF thosE mentioned really have anY of the things STated!....I was jUst speaking the things maiNLy on the lipS of otowners, coated in LOads of english (o kwa i ma, ashiri ka mma na bekeE...Lol)

I know mOst oF uS here havE our faults, buT I've never seen a mOre alive populace. Some anonymous peRsOn droPpeD a comment on my last post, inquiring as to why I was wasting my obvious literary talents on this toWn. Reason being that nothing I say caN change the actions of O'inhabitants, bUt I beg to diFfeR!

There's been a drastic change in the way ppl go about thEir biz these days, @ first its aLL about hiding from Otattler's prying eyes or trying so hard not to give me something to talk about...bUt in tHe LonG ruN, their's an iota of chaNge in our actions (4d beTter).

Ppl nw throw classier parties, for fear of being ridiculed by my literary bullets (Lol, tHis is mE makinG mockery of what I've been trying 2 do in tHis tOwn) but I hOpE for an owr whr ppl are productive & not jUst engulfed in the nothingness thAt has prEsenTLy befallen the town.

Let's make an exception and call this spade (o'tOwn & O'inHabitAnts) a golden tea spoon for a change & we just might dine with royalty, in eventuality »» I hAvE faith wE all wiLL, yOu have too??


Monday, July 12, 2010

venereal & post-venereal!

I'm back now! My great & unanticipated silence has left everyone flaunting a lil too much of the dirt they've got in them! Now I've got reason to tattle again!

More visits to Jonny Pharmacy and 'special' maternities around amakohia, you'd notice that this rain is acting as a dual catalyst! More babies are lost and more are about to be born all in the space of 8months +, to be very precise. Well u just got to the fuNny part of me.

Now let's do d counting!
Uzunma...(Clean and Green). Gonorrhea is really a bad disease to suffer from during this wet phase, where bacteria and fungi have better chances of survival. She hasn't gotten much of a problem, guys beware...go for a test with her if u doubt me, the Tattler!! Shu..shuuu...Shukpo...this one na combo bombo! The kind of itches you'd get from these two vendors would leave u devastated for long enough a time of your sexual life....Beware! Don't have facts, but that's what the public's screaming, you know they have a way of being right...not definite though!

Ezichi Sapphire...go easy on them postinors oh! Personally, o wu ghi che re ka m bia!, I know they leave an after effect of a slippery womb later on in life (& by slippery I mean, unpredictable! 50_50 chance of being able to conceive). I'm guessing you'd still want to have those cute lil sapphires, right?! A word's enough, don't know if you're wise.

Chinenye 'Konti' Nduka!
Your level of sexual infidelity amazes me, going mildly about everything I've heard, you could be in for some serious shocker not too long from now. Even under all dis rain ( a curse & blessing likewise to most), you hang around these pot-bellied men who are known to be serious carriers of one thing or the other. They possess either the 9months I.T placement letters or some death sentence, duly signed by the medical are Forewarned oh! Don't say I didn't say it, next time I could get the wives on your trail by naming names

MaDox, I'll let the whole O'town know your status I always say, it aint far-fetched knowing for certain your records! I'm sorry if you feel betrayed though, but I won't be so quick to judge, if I were you...might just be doing a good friend a favor. There's been a lot of rumour going around lately about your positively inclined status, and the louder their voices get...the more shallow discerning ppl will believe it.


Monday, June 14, 2010


you dint have to go all the way to ugwuta so i dont talk!

should have realised by naw dat i would,
hapi belated birthday anyways!

Nnamo really did rock your world,
you honestly didn't think i had the slightest idea?

i'd watch you thread the same paths many have indulged in
...& i'd be here when its over and done with

Ifeanyi Ekeh,
wat are you doing holed up in lagos

you had everyone believe ur abroad,
don't you know these lies hav a way of springing up?

i'm asking alot of questions,
i've lost my zeal

its same old...same old,
i didn't get otowners to act right
...just got them to do the same bad things with the utmost discretion

aren't you all tired of talking about the Iheme's?
aint their fault they're accustomed to silver

or that every owr gal's a potential ashy,
depending on d definitive parameters!

dont go attacking me just yet,
make sure you understand wat exactly was said first ochije,
need not explain wat went down!
fura's mad already!

some anonymous dude suggested i show myself,
wont want anyone to make minced meat of me
....till i'm sure you all hav learnt to handly the ugly truths i dish out


Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Zinny paLLy!
last time i checked...your last name wasn't pally!

are you basking so much in the euPhoria,
that you had to adopt his last name?

don't you think its high time you considered
leaving that married man for his deaR wife?

remember one good turn deserves another!
...& that karma's a real biTch

hey Uju Agb*gU,
its been a while...thought to kick up your own story!

do you still drAw those bEdsheet maPs?...Lmao!
i'm sure you didn't see that coming, jUst messing with yOu

hOw about all them catFights you engage in over men?
(i didn't say 'bOys' or 'gUYs')

these things aren't personal,
its actually meant to be a level playing fieLd out thEre!

survival of the sexiest,
the oLder you get...the further down the list you're pushEd!

Lynda song!
what's uP?...haven't gotten any reports about you sneaking in & out of the mansion
(i've got mY tentaCles on yOu & a hOst of oTherS)

in all ramifications,
a 'biG fiSh' aint exactly a striking figure,
so oma wuchi has got some explaining to do, as to what struck her!

don't tell me its your lethal pockets?...Lol

well as the saying goes,
birds of the same feathers flock together!
(see 9 lines above, if you don't gEt)

eTafO's tEddY!
pls get rid of those tattoOs!
for your sakes and mine...hope they aren't permanent!

aWommamma gals,
you all are advised to be weary of your rotund selves inside kekeS,
before they come crashing down with you in it!...LOl
(one of the feeDbacks i got in my mAil...not me oh!)


*come -->> back*

thought i was some biG name in owr!
but apparently,
i've got tO wOrk my way up the laDder like every other struggling venture
& yEt i'm surprised i haven't got mE no competitors springing up here and there yet!

once upon a time
i was loved (or atleast hated) by all of owr...not sO sure about noW!!
wiLLing to try though,
...talking about winning back your love or its hostile conterpart

haPi buFdai mAka (18/05),
congraTs on your graduation too!
so sorry to pry though...bUt who's the slim'ish,
fine feddy gal you're always seen with?

the new one?!
thought it was jennifer?...(anyways, you'd always have me confused)

she finally got into school?!
thought she gave Up on school(ing) a long time ago?
*crystal* jamila*...which do i take pls?

you're an ojimgbo material...don't think otherwise oh!
the finely constructed phonetics don't have me fooled

seems you've been infected by jenny & the boy craze,
no bOttles in extreme conditions pls!

i hear oBinzE's the new sodom & gOmorrah!

lesbianism's now the norm!
lots of make out sessions alongside weedY sessions

& just as they showcase their soft sides,
same goes for the harder 3/4

hear the female fraternities are the ones pulling their weights over there,
while thier male counterparts have obviously got a thing or two to learn!

pls oh,
i was directed to ask this personally,

is chiNgy rYan junior still a student?
oR just beinG helD back bY lOve? (....'yeah, she would marry you' Lol)


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

...suppOsed iMpliCatIoN

Don't know how fast gist flies in this town anymore,

seems like i'm the only one doing all thE worK...Lol

But i'm guessing some, if not most of you have heard that

your very own owr tattler was at 'ebe ngwori'...imsu junction yesterday evening!

their weekly request show witH rEal pLAyer
was on

& yours truly requested 'impLIcaTion' by tU fAce

intended getting a few ppl implicaTed...Lol,

bUt there was lil or nothing to report

maybe with the exception of dJ T-jOe (of oriEnt fM)'s birthday!

haD alot of cash to throw around,

& equally enough folks to throw it @!

maybe a lil teenie weenie gossip!

thE fisH was superb!

some of you think i aint got no gossip, no more?

You'd be surprised,
was only on a self acclaimed vac!

i neeD NOT tell yOu to stay tuned!

somEthiNG tells me somehow you will...Lol

plus today's BOB MARLEY's birthday,

those who know...knw what to do to eulogize him


Sunday, May 9, 2010

...nw sends txt msgs

By nOw i'm sure some of you hav gotten my personalised text msgs

& wondering how in the world its possible
(like i always say, it aint rocket science)

they were nothing too serz though...just a lil e-blackmail & 'what's up'

i'm also sure some of you would try and hunt me down through this,

GoodLuck to you on your quest,
i'd love to see bauer or chloe try...Lol


Monday, May 3, 2010

sOwinG tHe sEed oF disCorD

i've seen alot of ppl talking bout friends
and how unreliable they could be

& i'm forced to say this,
are yOu just knowing that?

you're all alone in this world
any dealings with others would have to attract some sort of benefit on their part
& yours too


just as one way relationships never go well,
no one wants a stagnant friend plus whatsoever,
is a no plus however!

i'm sure we all were advised to make every friend count,
...a particular area of upliftment @least!

when pUsh turns to sHove!*
--->> ndu wU akpa,
onye o bula nya nke ya!

that's a lil food for yOur thots,
don't digest it all at once

steer clear of the miserable & unhappy,
aids aint the only thing that's contagious

@least 48 Laws of Power was cock sure about it,
don't go carrying undue baggage

don't make the mistake about telling ppl your problems,
70% don't give a shit....& 30% are gLaD!

i know its kinda contradictory to the saying that goes thus:

a problem shared,
is a problem half solved

i'd only believe this if you'd argue that talking about it only makes you feel better,
not it actually solving anything

*(atleast not in this present day)*

take a look @ it,
that very important assignment

...that bf,
the friend you told so much about him,
& she turned around to use it to strike her own deal?

that trying moment!,
tHEy just happened to be in no position to profer any solutions?
or they would have if situations were different

there's a limit to what another person can do for you

they know the number of kilometers out of their way,
that they can go for you!

after that,
its O.Y.O (on your own)

don't think i'm bitter,
or just got snitched on by a true friend

...i haven't had me one of those in aGes
just a bunch of friends with benefits!

you've got a car,
i need to get around my many engagements in style
--->> i get the fuel

you've got mary & kay,
i've gOt mack & need a lil kAY!

you automatically become my 'kay' friend without knowing it,
& for a while you think its that charming personality of yours



Saturday, April 24, 2010

-> sPOt <-

Chieke Felix,
Heard you're Mr. Campus?

Did'nt they give you the car they promised?
Why are you always seen driving Mrs. heartland's car?

is it just a couple thing or are you guys actually meant to share?

SpOtTed too! Yommy

dResseD in office shirts,
a pair of nice jeans & a footwear to gO with the trEnd!

LOoks like she's changed her normal dress code of tucked in tee'z & sneakers with school bag
(not the samE as laptOp backPack)

also spOtted, tattle prime suspects!
meka ekpo (brown pOlice tee, carry a purple T.M Lewin pAper bAg)

& his suspected affiliate, bookie
Lacy green turtle neck & obviously jeAns,
haiR flowing in the wind (just like in a photO shoot)

were seEn cruising arOund Otown yesterday in a 'self converted' covertible keke,
having a drink enroute whrever!

smiling sheepishly
& obviously having a swell time (...wondering why)

thought you two were rumoured to hav dissolved the relationship?
is that truE or was it otowners trying to do my job for me?


Friday, April 23, 2010

thE flExiBilitY of LibeRty

i have this compelling urge to explain in totality the title of this post
but fOr your sakes & mine, hope i don't

we could paint 1001 pictures
to portray our habits in a better light

trust me i've heard a few good ones....even spurn some myself
bUt the truth's still the truth!!

we're on the riGht doing the things wE feel compelled to,
living our lives however we want to

BUT despite the free will,
the apple also gave us the knowledge of riGht and wRong!

one would expect we'd act accordingly

i'd take on a few common iLLs.

if their butts are half as important as the whole body is,
why then are they left lying around?

...trampled upon by the same feet holding the very hands,
that once cuddled those lil tall slim cylindrical babies

i'm not here to judge,
just to appeal to yOur sense of reasoning!

sense perception is still the best known knowledge acquisition method

what's d point in just after a meal!!
ever stopped to think of it?

more like you want to aid the digestion process,
with a lil combustion

how about its highly elevating counterpart,
no filtering whatsoever...straight to those cells

the ones that get fried,
& have you thinking you're floating

the red torch doesn't instill fear,
or make you seem larger than liFe

first impression?
-->> one with a dirty habit, nothing more

my advice!
carry out future similar activities with the utmost discretion
all those puFFs aren't really cOOl

peddling our bodies in whatsoever manner to chairmen & sugary mamaz,
isn't a trend to follow either or a consequence of peer pressure

its purely chiOce,
with its benEfits & consequEnces!!!

i've gOt a list folks who indulge in this,
bUt i'm still trying to figure out what good publishing it would bring

i hear some govt officials were well taken care of on their last visit to owr,
& even get home services now
(D.T.Az..Duty Tour Allowances dey game too)

i know this isn't exactly gossip,
but otattler isn't all about gossip

read my intro,
i made mentions of trying to get ppl to do the right things

the gossip creates a vast platform to do just that


Saturday, April 17, 2010

mEmoiRs oF a faShiOn poLicE ofFicer *part 1*

i wake up in the morning
& take that refreshing yawn

Brush my fine set of white teeth,
take a long shower

get dressed quickly,
but making sure everything goes
(its what i do for a living, who better to look out for these things?)

just before i step out,
i strap on my gadgets!

you're wondering what dey comprise of?
no real slUgs...just my objective sense of reasoning

& an eye for the crimes against fashion!

its burstling out there,
meant to be dangerous for me too

but unlike the real security forces,
i'm not conspicuously dressed!

ifeoma comes along,
one quick shot from me to her knee...*pow*
(those knees + legs, don't go with pedal pushers)

a slight graze to the shoulder,
the shades don't quite go but i could let her off on a lighter note....afterall she aint no pro

next in my line of sight is arabi,

'beach shorts & an office shoe, + a collar'd button down shirt.

*pOw* *pOw*
that's def 2 shots for ya!!
(sorry about the big toe, but i aint sorry about the knee)

i know, i knw
i shouldn't always be about violence
(dialogue is always known to work)

Walk up to Nnenna,
Asked her if she had a rough morn'n
(don't blame me, couldn't spell it right out)

skinniez & a high heeled pair of slipperz
(a no no!)

with a slim Tee.
i know normally that should go,
but you should have tried sneakers instead

a low waist jean & no ass,
what did you intend to expose??

I'd give you a 2 ** commendation for them jeans,

the tank would have been anything but bad,
if it wasn't that perfectly slender body you got there

who'z the obnoxiously fat friend?

On sighting that really big belly
in a similar tank top,

i rush off to my car,
to get the gun wit the 2 bigGer nozzles

chk!!,.. chk! -.... poOWw!!
& there was a big hole right through the belly
(letn her go would have been signing up to live with that vision for the rest of my career)

no need returning the pump,
now i'm aware we have really daring offenderz roaming the streets!

you shouldn't be displaying yams in bum shortz,
the smaller nozzle dis time -->> *pOw*!

there'z a particular trend that goes with the waist coat & you aren't exactly living it!

sstzZ* sstzZ* 2 buzzes only

that's one folk who obviously got the memo.

A couple of shirts, teez & collar'd
nice jeans ...sneakers, plim solls*

not forgetn the good combo sense!

-->> that's 3 ***'z from me

Who tagGed this classy chic with alansi jeans??

from my point of view naw,
i think its 'true religion' i see!

the maroon handbag & office shirt,
an obvious fit!

unlike vivian who i shot off a bike a couple of mins ago

you'd think it was independence day,
with too much of green & almost negligible white.

you're still wanted for thOse granny pants oh!

i need to reload,
be back in a bit!


there's a difference between 'canz' like you call it & sneakers

yeah...sneakers are those you can wear with almost anything,
Airforce 1'z aren't the same thing

That's 2shotz,
i'm taking one leg off @ the knee (chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!)

i'm most definitely spraying you!
(ra TA tA ta tA *chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!*//*chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!*)

you've been a very daring offender for a while now

We don't have bulky guys with boobs still forming gangster with bandanaz....Lol
(i'm not ready to spare a transgender)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

liMiteD pUbliC oFfeRz

hey hey!
stop all the hating ok?

i came up with something,
a plan to push you all into further confusion!

call it a public offer,
but i've got openings now

if you don't really get it,
i'd put you through

you have a chance to work in collabo with otattler!!!
bRing up your stories...true* they must be
(i'D employ my own verification tactics)

it's not d molotov cocktail
aimed @ those who have wronged you

you all are complaining about how i play my ball,
hOw about you come play with me inStead??

show me your versions of
what a true gossip blog is all about,
& trust know i have a thing for innovation?

i'D be sure to post it if its credible,
& probably has a msg!

wE've got bright minds out thEre!

yOu've got your anonymity too,
we don't necessarily need to know who you are!
wE'd just work hand-in-glove!!

i knOw a few have been cajoled on accounts of me,
bUt you all haven't been half as correct!

i'm giving you a sneak preview into my mOdus oPeranDi
ab initio!

sOrRy i knOw i lost some theRE!...Lol
i meant my mode of operation from the start

no one has thiS much gossip
or dirT on this much ppl
(gimme some credit i've gOt about 6o'ish posTs up already)

caLL me Mr. Editor,
caLL me CEO!

it all goes through me!!!

i run thiS shiT,
i do it wEll...i'm sure you'd applaud mY tactics

just like its called in the real world
Limited pubLic oFferz

its actually limited!
first & foremost you'd have to be a follower of my blog

someone recognised atleast by me
its not rocket science, figure it out!

i work with gmail accounts onlY,
you could even catch me online for a quick chat anytime

i've already got ppl on my tattle list,
so hurry!


Sunday, April 4, 2010

meltDown of d finAnCial seCtoR

whaT eveR happened to Kelechi (a.k.a Bobbito)?

Ahah! i know. he voluntarily resigned.


quoting my source, "he was SACKED"!

did He think his sudden 'exile' would be unNoticed,

after constitUtiNg so much nuisAnce in o-town?

i don't think so.

the tattlers hAve kept mute on the topic b'cos there was tHat uncertainty.

i mean, with our dear 'Bobbie' you can't be too sure what's next.

he may haVe been offered a jOb in tHe world baNk! Lol

It is (or was) a wonder that a yOung banker could thRow so much weight around,

even more than a G.M.

that's O-toWn fOR you!

with bankers earning the hiGHest pay (besides politicians) what do We exPEct?

well,he better have saved up bcos it seems the rAiny days are here for him.

poor him.

oh well, he could still have least there is still that All season's 'freepass' (i suppose)
then , i hope his friends ArE there to support him.

the problem is,

most TALKATIVE and extra-social people, end up having no true friend.

hope it's not the case with our Mr. PoPular.

Q- who is treading his footsteps in the banking industry of O-town???

A- Gerald of bank PHB.

the tall dark dude (with the Harry potter feature),

seems to be everywhere these days......with female company ofcourse.

obviously he's still discovering the town.

aLL there is To it is, while he discovers the town, the town discovers HIM.


Friday, April 2, 2010

help me give it a title

i was gonna narrow this down to a set of ppl alone,
but there has been alot happening in this town all @ once

there's the case of the desperate house wives
sandy, linda & gina

when i said desperate,
dont think i was exaggerating

there's the case of sandra & chimezie (IMT final yr)
plus urch (PMT 400L)
(rem the one in the picture with her?)

thought it was just guys who had legit & illegit gfs
but apparently that saying about women doing it better,
really had grounds

she's officially going out with chimmy,
while still razzling urch
(boro pit & arusi ihiagwa's hostel are worlds apart...literally!)

Linda (chem 400L)

we know you haven't for once being tagGed as classy,
or known hOw to identify or attract the likes.

once upOn a timE,
you were going about it all with utmost discretion
(we onlY heard aboUt the gf beater, never saw a scene...Lol)
nOw you seem to have thrown all caution to the wind

cOs they move around school in that match-bOx of a bEnz?

sorry pls,
who exactly are you after?

zobs or the room mate nD???

there's the case of the famous five,
but i think i'd dedicate a whole post to them.

Linny john lawrence is finally on the market again
(so facebook tells me)
...dont tell me you took my words seriously?

maka's found a rebound gal,
a suituable one @ that too
(but wait aren't you leaving already?)

our half-cast'ish yr 3 damsel,
all holed up in obinze!

fair & hard to miss!!

so i'm guessing ugochi has gOt to step up her gaMe,
although that seems bleAk @ this time 'T'

she's goT a list of gUYs on her case,
there are two cJ's (one with prospects, the other i aint so sure!)
& one Dice

its gonna be hard to calc this probability,
considering the numerous variables...Lol

but i'm guessing time would help us with that

there's the story of zizzy & michael (rem him? of ms. universe's bell boys)
he's in a lower level,
but that doesn't seem to mAtTER!
She drOpped a yr too
i don't think what they hav is defined yet,
but i sha know the str**F is defined!...Lol (i didn't tell you oh!!!)


i'm sure most ppl are wondering how you got it off so fast,
you could tell them you just sent me a mail,
or prayed to have it off!

bUt anyways,
its our little secret, ok?

eXecutive hOstel girls!!!
do gUYs still get raped there...Lol
some boys really want to know

please would you do me a favour & shUt the hEll up on facebook?

we know yOu drink aLot,
mostlY to stupor

& have the mobility to get around to all the parties,
but you don't have to bUrden our eyes with every tiny lil bit of info

hOw's the e-search for a sUitable rePlacement?

don't tell me about all the others after owums,
i said SUITABLE!!!

cHioma ibea***h*

yeah you're right,
love isn't by force

bUt never knOwn t-baba to be the forceful type,
onLy thing he does with taLk about his swagGER!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

--->>> dRive bY

this is gonna be the beginning of a whole new series,
considering i just got myself a new toy

trust me its cUte,
but i most definitely can't tell you what make lEt alone, model

a hint:
its not one of those lil yellowish tricycles roaming through the streets

the same ones that could havE you thinking
the giant yellow comm. company have taken over the town

yeah, you're right
you now have to be looking out for a car,
not just behind for the tattler

this is called Drive bY

so i'd try to narrate as lucid as possible
events as they unfolded before my eyes

Obieke's G-class was parked outside crunchies
how did i know?

he's one of those in the habit of brandishing
their name plates on a variety of exquisite automobiles

i'm guessing this is as a result of supposed personal achievements,
oR just that urge money brings
(he's got lOads of it)

the G-klas was parked almost alongside
a blue BMW X5 sports utility vehicle

same one owned by a young lady i've seen around a couple of times,
fair & exceptionally beautiful

while still exuding that raw sensuality

iS she married???

thE refuge dump @ UBA junction was scary,
yet funny

thought owr was all about clean and green,
this was some nasty biodegradable sHit

come do what you supposedly know how to do bEst

adanna (imsu)

more description?
mediatrics, Mbonu ejike

chesty thunder-strikes
& recessive albinism

didn't know you bring glimpses of your room fantasies
to the open now!

is it just me,
oR you don't exactly plan on just eating that roasted plantain?

are you looking for suitable substitutes?

the batteries are dead?...Lol

those earrings look like items from a movie set used
to illustrate the village perspective!

plUs mayBe you haven't noticed,
piCk & dRop is not for every girl in owr oh!

most of us need to consult a prof. hair stylist,
to give us the best in accordance with our facial configuration and scalp aeration

all those times you were hitting your hEad,
was it temporary amnesia again or oLd age telling on it?

all this security outside dEstiny sUpermarket,
& i knew there had to be a prominent personality

or just a public office holder

your lil prescence though short-lived
had the female section a lil crowded just cos of our fine yOung man

i'm sorry for the seemingly misconstrued connotation (yOung)
bUt for a man in his 50s being this charming,
i'm almost left to ask if its just an official age!

i'm guessing our learned prof., the VC of a federal technological university,
was shopping for the Mrs. for palm sunday

romantic right?
some men could still be!

Nnenna (futo)

thought you were previously of the school of thoughts,
that trousers were somewhat unGodlY for ladies?

i'm guessing you've realised that trousers are more attractive
& abate rape by peverted nymphos unLike skirts

looked attractive from beHind girl,
i'm sure you must have heard countless times...just hOw wrong you were


a lil of E

fOr thOse of yOu whO have been happy beyonce's pregnant,
sorry to burst your bubble

but she's not!
was spotted with hubby jaY-z while enjoying some good time in chile

they were reportedly eating ceviche,
as in the spanish dish of raw fish
(uncooked fish is a big no-no for mommies-to-be)

nigerians shouldn't be wary of this,
we hav no biz eating raw fish of any nationality whatsoever...Lol

eVen behinD bars,
Lil wayNe can't seem to stay out of trouble

an arizona judge issued a warrant for his arrest
for apparently failing to turn up for a court date

in connection with the marijUana,
Ecstasy and several handguns found on his tour bus

the rapper has a pretty good excuse for not showing

Dwayne cArter III is currently lOcked up for the next year,
in New York City's Rikers Island for a separate illegal weapons rap.

the earliest i hear he can get out,
is in eight months on acct of good behaviour

time has finally runs out on 24,
the show has been cancelled after the 8th season

nice knOwing you Jack,
it was good while it lasteD.

i know this wasn't exactly the plan,
it was just meant to be otown gist

but my saying goes thus,
'diversity is the mother of innovation'


Friday, March 26, 2010

tHe pOwers of postive tHinkinG

there are rules that govern this world,
& strict adherence or mere awareness of them

would have you sailing through life smoothly
(more like you & problems are totally unconnected)

in saying this i certainly do not ignore
or minimize the hardships and tragedies of the world,
but neither do i allow them to dominate

You can permit obstacles to
control your mind to the point where they are upper-most

& thus become the
dominating factors in your thought pattern.

By learning how to cast them from the mind,
by refusing to become mentally subservient to them,

& by channeling spiritual power through your thoughts,

you can rise above obstacles which ordinarily
might defeat you

obtacles are imminent,
personally i think they're there to make us stronger

dO you knOw!
excessive thoughts about a prOblem,
onLy makes it biGger?

there are lAws that go almost hand in glOves with these ones,
the lAws of pOwer!

i'D be talking about those in a later post,
depending on how receptive you are to this one

my pOint to this post,
i've been a lil hArsh in my dEalings with otowners,
so i want to help you experience a new and keen pleasure in living.

theSe are rules i've adopted pErsonally,
& my liFe & sUccess stOries

if written would surely win a BESt sElleR,
(this is mE giving back a lil to yOu)

bElievE in yOurSelf!,
have faith in your abilities!

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers,
you cannot be successful or happy.

only with sound self-confidence can you succeed.

a sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of our hopes,
but self-confidence leads to self-realization and successful achievement.

we should not accept the roles that anyone or society foists on us,
forge a new identity if the need be (i don't mean that literally)

-->> gud thing about this,
we get a chance to paint the new picture however we want!

yOu aLone have the inherent rights or ability to DeFinE yOu,
there's no strata or aspect of this liFe fOr a selectEd few

i'm talking self esteem first,
yOu wiN bY fiRst knowing you can't fail!

it is appalling to realize the number of pathetic people
who are hampered and made miserable by the malady
popularly called the "inferiority complex".

when proper steps are taken,
it can be overcome

You can develop creative faith in yourself
-->> faith that is justified!

plus applY this lil faith talk embedded somewhere in the Holy bOok
"I can do all things through Christ whO strengtheneth me." (Ph 4:13)

thEre wasn't an iota of segregation in the verse above,
sO whY can't we have that pErfect lifE

first step & most important,
is to discover why you have these feelings of no power.

that requires analysis and will take time.

We must approach the maladies of our emotional life
as a physician probes to find out something wrong physically.

yOu'd be amazed how things would flow towards,
rather than away from yoU.

feelings of confidence
depend upon the type of thoughts that habitually occupy our mind.

think defeat and you are bound to feel defeated.
But practice thinking confident thoughts,

make it a dominating habit,

& you will develop such a strong sense of capacity
that regardless of what difficulties arise you will be able to overcome them.

Feelings of confidence actually induce increased strength.

dOn't go thinking you can catCh me by thinking pOsitively about it,
i've taken measures to that effect...Lol


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

whO likes thE neW me?

i've made a few changes,
tell me what you think!

and dOn't think i've fOrgotten wHat this bLog is all about,
jUst cos i pOsteD an eSsay!

for those that appreciated it,
iT's goOd to havE ppl like yOu around
(otown isn't that bAd afterAll)


"is writing now irrelevant?"

this is an essay i submitted to for enrollment in the Young Writers Network Creative Classes starting in Lagos in April innitiative from the future nigeria, look them up @

i feel this essay is a message otOwners need to see, feel free tO air yOur views and they'd be highly appreciated.


from where i sit and type this,
there's no relationship whatsoever between any form of writing and the word

(its been long i wrote any formal kind of writing, just my blog
so you'd forgive me if i don't really get the clear cut guidelines to writing
an essay
but you would still get my 300 words...words in the bracket are exempted)

depending on how clearly depicted the intentions of a writer are portrayed,
the message embedded within can be a force for positive change.

motivational books written by exceptionally good writers,
have been known to have a positive impact on its readers... i'm one

i would put writing right after visuals in the knowledge acquisition process,
if the sequence or its orders were left to me to determine

Writing encompasses a set of seminal skills that is universally identified
with professional success and distinction.

One seminal skill that writing encompasses is communication.

Even at sophisticated levels of literary art and philosophic inquiry,
communication between the writer and the reader is the most basic and the
most exalted consequence of writing.

it could be argued that verbal communication is a lot easier than its
lettered counterpart,
or some would even dare say they don't possess writing skills and
can't quite fathom its intricasies

i think an argument can be made,
that effective writing is actually as accessible a skill as effective speaking.

Plus our generation seems stunted to some extent,
in literary terms

don't get me wrong,

in our days that have been taken over by the advent of the internet
and consequently online social networks such as Facebook,

clear-cut verbiage not matter how concise has been over run by short
forms of writing and slangs

most find it hard or rather far-fetched expanding their diction,
thereby occasional lapses in communication or outright non participation,
depending on the audience.

Its demeaning to say most of our youth can't express themselves verbally,
but adoption or mere realization of the writing prowess would be an
obvious plus.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

DinnEr dAsH!

where, where do i start?

should it be from the single laDies?
or their equally beautiful evening gowns?
(although, some missed the description)

the guys!

i'd give some space before i continue
(want to catch my breath)


nice suit,
looking good & all
(a tie would have been good too...buh!)

our very own best dressed
Living Word's Singles Dinner!!

--->> nOne other thAn our very oWn
Richmond Okorie

dude you looked gOod in that outfit

the bLazers,
clean cUt!

the sHirt,
right fIt!
(i was so impressed, see i gavE you like 10 lines)

i thinK nexXt should be "BIGGE"
(he just showed us two shades & a liL touch is all it takes)

**d**Or **n**al's sOn,

you seem to have outdOne yourselF
if i'm nOt mistaken that's the first time you've worn a tiE?

LOokEd sHarp,
& dinner like (unlike most ppl who didn't get the mEmO)

stripped sHirt
(i bet thEre are as much sides to you, as the lines on that sHirt)

that was meant to be a suit, right?

cUte aS hEll!
(short sleeves?...i doubt they're forbiddEn***UNIQUE ...iLike)

a Lil toO much about the guys,
letS move over to them hunnies!

you loOked eXceptionally goOd
(almost like you dOn't fit in around here -->> just passing by)

a sIght to beHold!
(i mean literally)

what colour was dat gown?
i was too mesmerized to nOtice

theY fit perfectly
you're a fiNe young woman, i mUst say!

good jOb!

i hear you and your sisters are the brain behind this!
Looked really good too!


Ps: i'm taking a lil breAk

no nEed sayinG you looked goOd
(you know you always do)

but i won't exactly say the same for your younger siS!

was i the reAson behind how bEautifully you were dressed?
(sOrrY about the scaRf ish...buh, i really dint get it)

rEally don't knOw what to say

lookEd nice,
but i also noticed you thought he did too!
(what's the catch??)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

zimu & som som's biRtHday bAsh

i know you'd have been wondering why i haven't mentioned your party yet!
no be una kill jesUs!...Lol

i've just been really busy!
(almost as bUsy as the bEes)

you gals really thrilled the crowd

Let me break it down

each table had a bottle of rEd lAbel,
a bOttle of Night train Xpress

rEd wine was ineXcEsS,
so no point counting how many were on the tAbles

the stOmach wasn't left out in their aGenda,
there was plenty ntanta to gO round

want the slightest inclination as to who i am?
-->> i spent an awful lot of time around that pOt,
munching awAy!...lOl

dOn't worry,
doN't want you all stressing your little minds

i know all about yOur elimination taCtics,
so i was carefUl enough to keep away from this one!
(bUt as usual, i get them in HD...lOl)

it was 40 - 40 from there!

if there was anything this parry didnt lack,
it was GIRLS! their multitUdes & mOstly on thE big SIDE!

so if you were say,
...a gUY @ this party
you'd be covered as long as you were with the moving tRain

in attendance we had,

our rotund kiki,
Ezinne (futo, fEddy)

uche juMbo...(Lol, dont mind me...just our plain old uche)

ck ice,
(who ended Up hiGh, lOud & never made it to 40 40)

(i hear you were taGged "tattler" @ the parry,
you know your legs were just being pulled right?...Lol)

'meka Ekpo
(hope you weren't embarassed,
i know the auditor general's son ish isn't funny
dAt was me hitting bElow the belt)

BookiE koliGs,
i hear tHEY were hard to miss!!

Emeka's roomMate
what's your story,
is it jUst puffS or there's mOre to you?

i hear you had my albino friend oVer!

i also hear you girls pulled alot of crowd
(in terms of the DRIVING fOrce)

hOw did the funding come about?
(i've been meaning to ask...ever since i started listening)

oH sH*t!
she has to rUn alOng now!
(a lecture to catch up with she says...i doubt)

be rEst assureD,
i'd be sure to continue


-->> Lady's dinner niGht tOnight <<--

it Living Word campus Fellowship's Ladies Dinner Night tOnight!
Jives Exclusive Home


V.i.P'z N1000.00
regUlar'z N500.00

you get the chance to carve out your own niche!

Living wOrd has got most of futO's finest the guys sure won't want to miss this one

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

* SEgrEGatiOn *

i've had it uP to here
(wish you could see how very hiGH up that is)

this anonymous crap is getting outta hand,

didn't know we had as much wimps,
as we did street wAlkers...

you've seen Deeznuts
(my good friend)

ck ice,
always liked his ingenuousness!

there's Uju Nwauwa,
all the way from ukraine

they are all members of this blog
& would be taken serious anytime they've got anything to say

jOining isn't roCket science,
plus we'd know who is talking @ all time (even if it's a fake name)

mY catch to this,
i'm about restricting comments to just members of this blog
& maybe, just maybe google account owners

take it as me,
trying to seperate the wheat from the chaff

Lemme know you all think,
i'd get my answers from this post's comments

i almost stopped the anonymous comments abruptly earlier on this afternoon,
but i guessed a pRior notice would be in order!


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

-->> e-aDVertS <<--

i'm back to purple,
i'm back to colourful!

i think i want to look more receptive to advertising

i'm open to e-adverts now,
Or have bEen for a while now

you know i'm the next bIG thing in otOwn
(...i even hear pot bellied men are talking about me)

clUb hOuses,
bArs (uPcomiG or already dormant)


relAxation jOints,

you name it,
i could help increase your customer bAse!!!

A hinT:
everyone's on otattler @ some point during any day,
sO how best to advertise services being rendered by you??

i don't need to over emphasize the fact that we're in the 21st Century
& almost bEing run out by tEchnolOgy & itS tactics

i have an email address

send whatever you want to me
& i'd be sure to reply

i'm not a monster,
& probably if i am...i'd be taggEd a nice one

i've received emails about favors,
aS reGards my pOsts or commentS

& they recEived my prompt rEsponse

i know this dOesn't quite fOllow,
bUt i just needed you folks to see this more like an interactive forum

my identity might be anonymous,
bUt accessibility to me isn't far-fetched!


..-->> 10% <<--..

right naw,
your very own tattler is experiencing live 10%
(i mean giving you details on-the-go!)

& you all are lucky i can paint pictures as vividly as possible,
infact sometimes i feel i speak imagery

mid day,
on a school day

stilletos & all
blouse on

black glittery handBag
i'm thinking chanel

but then again that won't be the first time
rotobi by douglas boutiques would surprise me!

no need for those,\
cos they'd soon come off

i think the bags were there first to drop
next were thOse shoes

i said one touch game right?
i LIED!!

this guy is skillful
or so it seemed @ first

the blouse's going of!

oh i can see the bra,
it White!

nice racks
(considering one just popped out)

cOuld make a gurl think thrOugh swinging the other way!!

he has been @ the nipplEs for quite a while now,
i think we both have a thing in common

she has started to stutter,
sorry, more like mutter!

as his head kept going down south,
her ring tones got louder
(if you know what i mean)

he took off whatever was left of what she had on

& there,
she was in her bday suit!

within secs he was in THERE,
(in & know how these things go)

i'm thinking,
by my count...if i'm not mistaken

by thE 6th or 7th thrust,

there was a jerk
(that didn't last so long either...that's why its missing the '-ing')

it also came with lOud noises,
but all that came from her was a HISS!

he'd got her clamouring for a lot,
only to leave her inbetween
(a lil closer to whr she started, than to the end)

a story that was promised 45mins
ended somewhat abruptly @ 15!
(oh! no, that would be giving him too much, considering most of it was foreplay!)

he didn't mind
(he'd gotten a chance to let it all out)

as for your dear ol tattler,
atleast i got my 10%

had no biz watching the transition,
i was out of there, no traces!


Sunday, March 14, 2010

phOtO commEnts

its a 'rack' affair! (you know what a pair's called?)

Friday, March 12, 2010

pHOto cOmmEnts!

a clip from richmond's party!

hApi bUfdaI gini -->> tHe seQuEL <<--


didn't quite have the full gist on your party before,
wondered why!

you're known to make a bIg bAnG wiTh tHis sort of thing,
bUt i understand the theme of this last parry was "insufficient" funds!!

what happened to the 100 bottLes you promised your guests?
(don't worry, i won't turn this into 21 Q?s)

two bottles of champagne alone fOr OYi,
& that was it!!

tell me i'm wrong,
but isn't a bOttle N2,000 @ itEm 7?

what happened?
things didn't go according to plan?

Let me guess,
you were to impress him with the drinks,
show hiM you're capable...

then he'd continue
(MOre like paRt fundiNg)

but fRankly,
i think h\E wasN't exactly impresseD with the cHeap aSs 'Andre"
MOet could have worked better for you!

Don't you think??

i know there are plenty fiShes in the riVEr,
but you couldn't have sent him mOre than three (3)!

should i help you with the cOst analysis of your parry,
don't think i can't

thE scoop i gOt was well detailed,
didn't know wE now have gosSip in 3D!

(wE girls are good @ what we do)

not only did your guests not get anything close to the 100 bottles,
some didn't get any at all

were thOse bum shorts Or GRanNY PaNts?

the hOuse cOat...tell me i lost tRack of the trENd,
& dAts whaT iS in vOgue naw!!

wHat's with finE gIrls & uGlY bOYs?
(been meaning to ask you that question!...something tells me you'd have the right answers)

what was that jersey for?

just another way to show you're dating the auditor general's son....Lol

the one that couldn't even buy you fish,
even after you cried out for it & made so many side comments to that effect

who was the side kick on pink T.Mz?

Lets assume you were having sober reflections,
cos i understand you had nothing to drink all through!
& kept mute all the time

nOne of the girls fascinatEd yOu?

not even the rotund kiki?/

i have it under reliable authOrity that she likes/(d) you,
(call it like @ first sight)

sO if you're interEsted,
take it i'm now playing HitCh!

i guess yoU must have realised you bailed on some of your guest,
heard some of them had tO turn back!!

sO much for 100 bOttles...

i suggEst neXt time,
yOu put your mouth where your money is!
(that's how the saying gOes, right?)


Sunday, March 7, 2010

-->> cOnvoCatioN <<--

now this is what i'd love to call an article
not just any post

its cOnvoCation in Futo

i'd start with the newly renovated 'Hall of Mercy'

the stage's been tiled,
air conditioning sets have been installed
(standing tall or resting on the wall...your pick)

office-like window blinds!
sliding windows

i know... the smart ones are already thinking thoughts!

for tattler to be describing ever so vividly,
means he/she's been around hall of mercy recently!

couldn't have been the actual ceremony,
it should be Living word Campus Fellowship

yeah...sUe me!
i was there...infact, always have been!

only wished there'd have been some miracle

& we'd have enjoyed the cool atmosphere,
while the word of God infuses into our heads @ astonishing speed and clarity!!

but no,
we could hardly have the mics on

Nneoma (gEologY 300L),
you looked really nice in that gown
(turning out to be a really fine one, whatever your doing, it working!!)

you sure shouldn't have missed out on the "GentleMen's MEeting"
you were dressed to attend!

always knew you had a thingy for broWn
nice outfit!!

plus where have you been??
still a student?

ever present at parties...wouldn't have tagged you for a regular @ cHurch too!!

what in designer's name...Lol, did you tie on your hair?

did you loose some weight?
any particular reason??

i've gotten carried away as usual

was meant to be talking about convocation!

musKi & maKA,
it's really cute you guys allowed your mamas over

most guys are ashamed,
or rather,
embarrassed when she comes and brings the whole kitchen

they'd prefer to do it in bars,
than with the parents!

just like i hear T-blast did with his convoc party @ vandoz!!
(why wouldn't he?...isn't he the best graduating student from Petroleum Engineering?)

impressive guestlist i must say!

the infamous Nono & Chingy!

Nneoma (gEology 300L) also present,
i'm guessing Jessica too!, but....

Ifunnanya (civil 400L)
thought you didn't party?

Dialla Sonata,
was it school run today?

heard it was red wine all the way,
beEr was some sort of segregation!

what business did you have on the convocation ground?
even in the scorching sun you still wanted to portray yourself in a different light!
(we know better)

back in umuchima,
it was madness all the way

a lil tussle here and there at pioneer,
one over the crate of beer and bottle of red wine igwe gave some folks!

Eissman had series of activities,
that night didn't seem a barrier!!

i'd keep updating,
as the events unfold in my head!!

i loved those shorts!
really sexy,
but rumour has it you aren't really a student here
(you know the worst kind of deceit?....sElf dEceit!!)


-> eXcellEncE <-

call me an evangelist,
ask me what the hell i'm talking about,
i really don't care.

stumbled on this gospel jotting,
i had earlier planned on posting it on facebook

but i kind of forgot
(my bad!, but they say all things worketh together for good for those who truly love him...yeah?)

i'm now open to a bigger audIEnce!!!
hence more ppl can read it!!

i'm talking about striving for excellence in everything,
& christ alike

Christians --->>> Christ - Like
(as HE is, so we are... or rather that was the original plan)

we all claim we're christians right?
& some even dare say they're good christian

Q: what's the difference between when you were in the world & now you're in christ??
i thinks this is a food for thoughts....enjoy relishing it!

Let me just go ahead & relay a message i once received about excellence, an excellent person & all it entails

Excellence: to go the extra mile, to out-do yourself, can't be improved upon!

it will definately cost you more, it doesn't manage anything!


* doesn't cut corners
(you know what they say about the road that seemeth right/faster unto a man...& its end's destruction?)

*doesn't fornicate
(i know its hard but He really doesn't like it)

*says what he means & means what he says
(you should be able to give your word & honor it...HIS word's unflinching)

*has self control
(having a strong will power against most things is always a plus)

*keeps re-inventing himself
(the path to excellence is a continuous one expects you to do it all @ once)

*has boundaries a.k.a principles

*doesn't do what he feels, does what is right!!

*knows the 'buts' in his life and strives to remove them

one of the reasons for opening this blog
was to somehow get people to act right

when you know you're doing something wrong
& in the full glare of the public

yOu sure would act right

i just defined being excellent as regards christians

so iTS you & yOur cOnscience now
to some reasonably extent you know what's right

do you ever take a mental stock of your life?
sober reflections also help


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

JaZzY FiZzlE @ Armani's

playing a saxophone in owr?
(who does that?!!)

armani's Bar 'n' Grill
in works layout?

the place's nice and cosy

for beer & its point 'n' kill fishes
(just like their name, they do alot of things 'n conjuNction?...Lol!)

dOn't tell me you don't still get it?

anything other than executive brothels
and drinking sprees!

with timaya blasting through the speakers
or j martin's 'oyoyo'

& 'iva'

wande coal's 'ghana freestyle'
2face's iMpLiCaTiON!

& most things from M.I would do too

i get carried away at times!

was just drifting through my playlist

but puhLss not a jazz replica of these things
what makes you think that's lucrative?

anyways innovation's always welcome!

by me,
& i'm guessing the world at large too

so you just might make that difference
hope you stand the test of time!

G yet another successful endeavour,
more grease to those elbows!


i thought that car or rather, my bad!! THE mini van was for baby mamas only!
don't tell me i just mistakenly stumbled on a scoop there,

you always did seem uptight,
you got a baby mama too?

this one you're always seen switching cars!
today's the hyundai sonata

& maybe,
just maybe on days that involve


-->> the red mini van!!
(the colour's even cliche!...Lol)

i know normally no one should reason this far,
but i don't count myself as normal

don't be deCeivEd!!!

there could always be more than two sides to a story!


Sunday, February 28, 2010

- - - - >> L 3 L 3 << - - - -

t h e r a t e o f l e s b i a n i s m i n t h i s t o w n i s o n t h e r i s e w i t h e a c h p a s s i n g d a y .
j u s t a s i t i s a l m o s t i m p o s s i b l e t o f i n d a v i r g i n ,
i t i s a l s o a l m o s t i m p o s s i b l e t o f i n d a s t r a i g h t g i r l .

w h a t i s h a p p e n i n g ?
a r e t h e r e m o r e g i r l s t h a n g u y s i n t h i s t o w n ? ?
( p e r s o n a l l y I ’ d s a y Y E S )

a t t h i s r a t e ,
i h o p e G o d d o e s n t g e t a n g r y e n o u g h t o t r e a t u s a s h e d i d t h o s e o f S o d o m a n d G o m m o r a h .

w h a t ‘ s t h i s n e w s a b o u t a n O - t o w n b a b e s a t i s f y i n g o n e o f o u r v e r y o w n n o l l y w o o d a c t r e s s e s s e x u a l l y ? ? ?
r e a l l y , s o d o m a n d g o m o r r a h m i g h t n o t b e f a r f e t c h e d !
i n d e s c r I p t i o n m a y b e,
b u t i h o p e n o t i n H I S w r a t h

t h i s c h i c i s o n e o u t o f t h e m a n y n o t o r i o u s " r u n s g i r l s " o - t o w n ' s g o t

w o n t h e p r i z e o f a c a r f r o m * a l l s e a s o n ' s * n o t t o o l o n g a g o,
s o t h a t s h o u l d h e l p n a r r o w i t d o w n
( w e a r e n o t s u r p r i s e d , a f t e r a l l s h e i s d a t i n g t h e c l u b ' s D J ! ! ) l o l

b u t i h a v e n o t s t o p p e d w o n d e r i n g ,
s i n c e w e n d i d i t b e c o m e a r e p u t a t i o n b u i l d e r t o w i n a c a r f r o m a c l u b h o u s e ? ? ?
h m m m . . .

a n y w a y s , t h e t a t t l e r g a t h e r e d f r o m a r e l i a b l e s o u r c e
t h a t o u r v e r y o w n c h i c h a s g o n e f a r a n d w i d e ,
a s l o n g a s d i c k s a r e c o n c e r n e d
a n d i s n o w t r y i n g o u t p * * * * * s !

n o t l i k e s h e i s t h e f i r s t ,
o r i t i s h e r f i r s t t i m e ,
b u t t h i s t i m e s h e h a s d e c i d e d t o t a k e i t t o a h i g h e r l e v e l .

t h e c e l e b r i t y p a r t n e r s e e m s f r u s t r a t e d b y h e r f a i l e d m a r r i a g e a n d i s n o w o u t f o r h e r k i n d .
i m n o t s u r p r i s e d ,
l i k e t h e y s a y ,
e v e r y g i r l h a s g o t l e s b i a n i s m t r a i t s , i n i t ? ! l o l

t h e d u o a r e i n l o v e ,
a l t h o u g h h o w e v e r t h e r e s e e m s t o b e m o r e l o v e c o m i n g f r o m o u r d e a r a c t r e s s .
s o h e r e i s t h e q u e s t i o n ;
s i n c e w e k n o w t h i s a l l s e a s o n ' s a m b a s s a d o r i s o u t t o m a k e m o n e y b y h o o k o r b y c r o o k ,
is it po s s i b l e t h i s i s j u s t o n e o f h e r b u s i n e s s s t r a t e g i e s ? ?

*o . t @ t l e r*

Monday, February 22, 2010

haPpy bDay Gini'e

don't tell me you thought i won't wish you a happy birthday?

though unlike you,
i haven't heard where the party's @!!

or is there none?

cos i know for certain you're in owr now,
& you never miss out on a chance to make a grand entrance

mOst especially at an event you're hosting!!

hope you had a goOd oNe


Sunday, February 14, 2010


her 'before & after' is just as 'black & white',
(i guess it's these lightening creams & complexion soaps)

--->>> totally at ease with the way she lives her life

nice behind & equally nice before

stays in works!!
& still works many jobs

as much as IT can handle
(which is an awful lot)

& intends to stay at the top

her mentality,
'if i can do it for fun, i can for more'

so today is a routine,

should be over & done with,
within an hour max.

owr hotel plaza
(*class*, easier to handle)

unlike some cheap skates she's been with

the wife
(last person she expected to see)

what happened @ the poolside that day,
should be an eye opener for nollywood directors

strict adherence to detail
in disgracing the supposed husband snatcher

as vivid as HD!!,

my scoop unfolded right in front of me,
no hassles or stunting!!

'the slow strides of a tiger doesn't depict weakness'

this scenario helped me fully grasp the true meaning of the adage above,
in its tOtality

sexy for a mom,
but obviously not for tom

didn't know fine women in gypsy gowns could engage in cat fights

...for fish maybe,
but never for a promiscuous hussy & an ahia owr

traffic at the pool that day was at its barest minimum,
so we didn't have a large audience

Gossip travels fast,
but apparently not as fast as i can get it i doubt you'd have heard this anywhere

My man tried curtailing his wife's temper,
while still blatantly denying any affiliations whatsoever with our girl

she on the other hand
held the two 'almost equal' halves of her red tank top,
while trying to hold her shorts that had come undone during the brief & timely intervened tussle

once she had gotten a hold of hERself
& all that covered her,

she looked around to take a mental picture of those who had witnessed,

but your's truly was quick enough to duck behind the last edition of Ebony magazine i was reading earlier
& feign total disregard for events unfolding right in front of me

once certain that damage control wasn't going be a problem,
She headed out the gate

i couldn't go past that small blue gate,
but i desperately wanted to help my friend

it was a decision between her and otattler

i chose my blog!!

we would probably talk about your escape in details,
later on in person,

long after this post has been published & is now open gist

...cos i seriously want to know how you made it out of there in rags


Saturday, February 13, 2010

unVeiLinG the dArk SiDe

- 21 QUestiOns -

heard you've moved in with him now?

wanted to get a taste of the real deal right?

you weren't ok with just spending most of your time there,

& shutting out the rest of the world

How did that go?

you've got to fill caged, or atleast @ some point?

there're alot of options,
but you chose to try out just one!

why him?

was it 'brain washing' about having great prospects?

(because frankly, that's the only plausible angle to it)

with an exception of your lil detour with a certain course mate of yours,

you've dated just one guy since your pre-degree

oR, you didn't think anyone would know it's been that long?

he has got to be special,
don't you think?

what ever happened to your modelling career?
iS it over?

heard you were top 10 @ the 'face of sleek' beauty contest?

what happened to 1st?
oR 2nd?


he didn't want you to continue?

(scared of a lil competition? once you're open to a larger audience?)

you turned out different,
nOt exactly better than most of your Feddy counterparts

but that's all there is to you nOw!!

where did all that potential go to?

even with your eyes open while sleEPing,

thought you'd be more 'open minded' to life

hope you don't wake-up one morning
& find out the world has passed you by!!

what ever happened to the 'Power Puff Girls'?

you obviously ditched your roommate sandy to move in with your HUSSY,
so we know how that one wEnt!!

(thats what you call him now right, or is it still 't-clef'?)

Kd, the possessed one?
don't tell me she finally consumed her?!

Friday, February 5, 2010

why aNOnymoUs??

tell me why you guys post comments anonymously for starters?

you all are gingering me to do something about the anonymous comments cum impersonation & all that shit,

but the truth quite frankly is that there's very little i can do

its either i moderate comments, but then i realised people have a right to speak and be heard

i'm not psychic, can't differentiate the real 'who' from who!!

oR i restrict comments to only my blOG followers,

or just google account owners
(i see most of the anonymous commenters as cheap skates, something tells me they won't know how to open one)

but any measures i choose to take,

will definately restrict the flow on this site

& that's where the fun is (don't you think so)

about you all having different misconceptions about me,

i'm not bloated, not ugly either!!

i'm definately not broke, i've got the resources @ my disposal

i aint got no beef with no one,
maybe just a little nosy with a strong affinity for blogspots & write-ups...Lol

wasn't molested!! (funny anyone would think that)

i'm close friends with most of you,

so be careful you just might diss me in my presence....Lol (shivers right?)

& another thing you shouldn't get twisted,

its just me, not two people....definately not a cartel either.....Lol

just an individual with really long tentacles

tOOdles *o.t@tler*

Friday, January 29, 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Whats up with O-Twinny?

this is gossip girl or boy (not quite sure these days....Lol) reporting live from owr

bringing you the town's gist hot n spicy (i know i haven't been doing a good job @ that lately, but you would still stand by me right?)

i'm a bit confused on this one,
so if you've got clues, feel free to help me out here

Fine chic
(no doubt!!)

On the big side
(still no doubt, but she somehow manages to keep very little curves, which i believe @ the rate she is going should be long gone before long)

i'm very sure she was in Imsu,
so i wonder how a person drops out just like that

there has to be a reason for a rash decision of that capacity,
i hope its a tangible one

then again,
i heard, i saw her write Futo's Post Ume!!
its not rocket science to get into futo, so i wonder why its taking so long to get enrolled there

instead she's constantly seen parading the streets of otown, Day & Night (all seasons can't be an exception)

with no educational obligations whatsoever.

wonder what she told her folks to get a free pass like that!!
i would love to hear it

i thought you posted something on facebook about being abroad and needing someone's number in another country because you wanted to inquire about schooling conditions there??

you even dropped a foreign number as yours,
so you would understand why i was shocked to see you back in otown?

i was thinking maybe you just haven't had enough of the town,
but then i might be wrong

so for what its worth,
clarify this claims or help me throw more light on what exactly i'm not getting

& i promise i would do whatever you want done as regards this post!!

you're the first i'm giving a way out,
Lets see if you use it


Wednesday, January 27, 2010


i know, i've been quiet for a while now

nothing seems to interest anyone around here,

the closest thing to giving people that 'much needed' jOLt was

Iheoma Ogbonna's birthday bash@ Ugwuta Lake/ kinky's bar, Ikenegbu!

if you're conversant with futo's terrains,
you should know this one

400L Pmt
a damsel no doubt,

(taller than hIm too,
no doubt..Lol)

but you wont know much about her if you aren't a member of her inner circles

the world still has romantic boyfriends

(so if your's isn't living up to expectations,
give him a few examples of those who do!!)

Ejiogu Phillip, is one
(now graduate, futo; one time D.O.s EEE) threw his gf this exquisite (by futo's standards) party!

a surprise one too,
just like in the movies

she was seen brandishing him, as usual

but wait, who won't?
especially when he's got a car!!

that's practically every girl's dream in owr

(so if you've got a nice car & presently hooked, this might just be your last bus_stop, if you dont implore 22 century tactics...Lol!)

the guest list was impressive

we had less of the random faces,
& more of the creme

(dont get my definition of creme wrong though, but lets let things slide on this one)

there was Okereke Muski

(he never misses any parties, he's one person i know that's practically inter-connected with everyone in futo somehow; you could do a survey on
*who doesn't muski know in futo*
---->> is it the king's college connections, or his department's? church? Attends more than 1!! Umuchima's too!

before she realises the hard way that futo isn't a bed of roses unlike the picture being portrayed by her friends, final years students in Le Meridien Ext. wasn't always this easy for them, its a process!!
they are over and done with!!

their *leaving*, though it seems to tarry, is also a process & will definately come to pass)

Phillip's Entourage
(no need naming names, contrary to what you people may think i'm not that jobless..Lol)

a few people from her department, Munachi Ekpo & Co.

Ebene Godwin,
Junior (man o war wannabee)

a host of madonna girls
(i think they're now imported easily, maybe a leasing firm or something)

our very own Miss. Heartland,

the almost albino'ish one!!
'07 or '08, i'm not quite sure.....didn't notice her while she supposedly reigned

that's about it!!

Imsu has started exams,
mostly down-school courses have been written

but still everyone has gotten into the exam mood,

so you dont expect to hear anything too serious from them

except for those that it's a way of life for them,

& talking about it would be likened to flogging an already dead horse

can i leave @ this point?

your criticisms have been most welcome,

& i would trY to look into everything, to learn from my mistakes

your judicious comments,
...consistent too!!

i'm giving this one out to you,

you're almost gaining more popularity
than myself

bIG uPS*
thanks for keeping up the heat there for me while i hibernated


Monday, January 18, 2010

a wOrd & thE wiSe

pEople have been speculating on my blog,
about who has aids and who doesn't

i'd tell you this though,
those claims aren't far-fEtched!!!

take a trip to IMSUTH Orlu,
and you'd know 'jUst' exactly what i mean

you'd be taken aback by the bevy of people
trooping in for their antiretroviral drugs

The treatment consists of drugs
that have to be taken evEry day for the rest of a person’s life.

The aim of antiretroviral treatment is to keep the amount of HIV
in the body at a low level.

This stops any weakening of the immune system
& allows it to recover from any damage that HIV might have caused already.

its not just the bevy that is the problem

its the known faces,
regular faces in otOwn!!!

contrary to what people might think,
i do have a conscience!
(or some people might say i just grew a pair)

so i'm not naming names,
but trust me when i say i saw some of our usual faces.

my point ab initio?

bE a little more careful,
don't let yourself bask too much in the euphoria of getting laid,
& forget to use a CONDOM!!!

for the guys,
learn to put more foreplay into your 'love making' or straff
(depending on what plan you're on...Lol)

the chances of your condom bursting are slimmer
(i'm sure you never would have guessed foreplay was directly proportional to a longer, healthier life...Lol)

most of these people are bitter,
or might be on a revenge streak
so beWare

to be foRe wArnED,
is to be forE ARmeD!!!


Sunday, January 17, 2010


i know,
you thought this blog had died a natural death huh??
well, think again!!!

"the tattler almost lost its anonymity, so that break was needed" lol
(believe that, then you would believe anything)

So,guess whose turn it is this time???

T and C.

i mean,
Petite T with an ugly tatoo @ the weirdest of spots,

nothing extraordinary about her looks
facially i mean),

but she's got this sexy touch to her stature
(at least, that's what they say, not me)

and her not-so-attractive (putting it mildly) bf, C.

Both are regular faces in friendship homes.

i visited the short-lived 'fake' tattler blog (lol)
and she even had something to say about the couple.

i couldn't help but keep them under close surveillance,
& i can't help but say that i was disappointed!

Theirs is what i choose to call "Teenage love affair"
(in the literal sense of it)

a pair of kids who have refused to grow up.

or is it high school movies that wont let them grow?
(just wondering)

Our dear T has difficulties dressing appropriately,
while our very own C has a problem keeping his mouth shut!

i'm yet to confirm if its the issue of an empty vessel. . .lol
(although, i'm convinced it is)

need i say that it was a boring watch for me???
nothing spicy. . .at least not yet!

so,how on Earth did that 'fake tattler' come up with stuff on the chic?

something about her owning a
Na beans??

putting up this post is a sure way of boosting their reputation.


T, have you not heard that it's not so much what you wear but how (and when) you wear it?

What's with the stilettos and 'big ass' bags just for casual outings??

or is there some form of 'business' we don't know about?

C, have you finally chosen a career for yourself?
(i'm concerned, can't help but...)


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

pHOto cOmMEnTs

let's just call this the post for photo comments
about the picture i promised earlier & you guys voted for

so let's hear what you think!!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

my last resort!...facebook never fails me

call me jobless,
but that is what the dullness around has caused

otown's borING!!!
its not that people aren't back to school or something

some folks have been seen trotting into F.U.T.O

their imsu counterparts have long done the same
and aren't planning on leaving even with the impending strike

& i dare not say folks are being conscious about public misdeeds,
so as to avoid the public's scrutiny when mentioned on my blog

so WhAT's iT???

my last resort!...facebook never fails me

i wonder why trace D'lace tagged 'just' our very own izzy
in a note about two dwarfs & prostitutes!
(should this mean something?)

it has also come to my notice that he's one of the 'thank you for the add' boys
Livia Rosenkranz (a white girl) got her own fair share, except it had a 'dear' as its suffix

lets leave izzy before he sends the D.S.P after me...Lol

what's with Munachi Ekwem?

her profile picture,
shows her in one of the hotel rooms of one of otown's many

has she gotten so used to visiting hotels,
she now claims its her hostel room?

rumour has it she serves it on a platter of gold,
just for the fun of it.

the facebook experience was thrilling
plus now i know,
that all i need info wise on any party going down in owr,
is cherechi (Damn, she even knew about the camou party & what it represents)

i'm signing out

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Polls & Pics

i just added a new gadget to this blog!

you now get to vote on different things ranging from
stories you want to hear next, to gossip of the week! and stuffs like that

interesting huh??

thats not all.
some of my fans have been clamouring for pics
so i have added just one. . .for now.

more will come as time goes on.

look out for a new poll and pic each time you visit the blog

. . . keep reading!
O.t@tler's @ your service.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

O-Town's got a Female Bouncer!!!

did you think you would escape the wrath of o-tattler?
think again!! lol

o-tattler isn't here just to bring you this lil town's gossips,
i have been able to arrange them in an order
only the the tattler can understand.

it happens to be HER turn!!!

this o-town regular face
isn't one of those in our dear o-town
just here for academic purposes and the likes,
she happens to be a 'landlady'!!!

a member of the Royal family of Owerri
or atleast her last name and idiosyncrasies (the promiscuity and all) suggest that,

she is a perfect definition of "Ada Owerri".
trust me, even if you don't know her name,you know the face.

where is she seen???

anywhere and everywhere in town ranging from club houses and hotels
to open bars and parties.

if not for the cash involved, she would have been a registered member of 'all season's club'! lol

i think she should be awarded the membership card for her relentless attendance.

her physique suggests the 'chairman type'
you know what catches their eyes @ first glance

but the onus is on her and my dear readers to confirm that.

she belongs to this particular female group in town,
whose names will only come up when the time is right.

o-t@tler has been watching this heavy chic for a while and it has come to my notice that
she never leaves the town.
not even during the holidays!

come to think of it, wouldn't she be a perfect reporter for this blog of mine? lol
was thinking of recruiting but that would spoil my anonymity...Lol!


Friday, January 1, 2010

happy new year (lets do things right)

its a new year
& i'm trying to do everything right just like everyone else

i know we all have resolutions,

personally i dont
because i'm happy with most of the things i did last year,
so i think i'd continue

previous comments on this blog have been vulgar, libelous & i've been thinking of a way to nip them in the bud

but then, i realised, there is something like freedom of speech.

So while i personally condemn any crazy comment being posted as replies to any of my tattles, i will not censor any of them. I just do hope we are man enough to take responsibility for what we post. Don't hide behind anonymity and then post crap. If you think you have authentic information you'd like to share, get a username, so you can be taken seriously.

ot@tler shouldn't be an avenue for settling scores, by openly attacking people who have wronged us or otherwise on the world wide web

instead, we should pave the way forward to problems or situations with our comments

this is what i came up with

all older slanderous comments will or have been deleted. It's a clean slate people, just like the new year brings.

i reserve the rights to review & certify comments, credible enough to be displayed on our gossip blog, so i can still delete again with my smoking gun, hardy har har!

its ours,
you might not see it that way/

but its you out there that makes otattler what it is

hAPpy nEw yeAr from *o.t@tler*