Saturday, April 24, 2010

-> sPOt <-

Chieke Felix,
Heard you're Mr. Campus?

Did'nt they give you the car they promised?
Why are you always seen driving Mrs. heartland's car?

is it just a couple thing or are you guys actually meant to share?

SpOtTed too! Yommy

dResseD in office shirts,
a pair of nice jeans & a footwear to gO with the trEnd!

LOoks like she's changed her normal dress code of tucked in tee'z & sneakers with school bag
(not the samE as laptOp backPack)

also spOtted, tattle prime suspects!
meka ekpo (brown pOlice tee, carry a purple T.M Lewin pAper bAg)

& his suspected affiliate, bookie
Lacy green turtle neck & obviously jeAns,
haiR flowing in the wind (just like in a photO shoot)

were seEn cruising arOund Otown yesterday in a 'self converted' covertible keke,
having a drink enroute whrever!

smiling sheepishly
& obviously having a swell time (...wondering why)

thought you two were rumoured to hav dissolved the relationship?
is that truE or was it otowners trying to do my job for me?


Friday, April 23, 2010

thE flExiBilitY of LibeRty

i have this compelling urge to explain in totality the title of this post
but fOr your sakes & mine, hope i don't

we could paint 1001 pictures
to portray our habits in a better light

trust me i've heard a few good ones....even spurn some myself
bUt the truth's still the truth!!

we're on the riGht doing the things wE feel compelled to,
living our lives however we want to

BUT despite the free will,
the apple also gave us the knowledge of riGht and wRong!

one would expect we'd act accordingly

i'd take on a few common iLLs.

if their butts are half as important as the whole body is,
why then are they left lying around?

...trampled upon by the same feet holding the very hands,
that once cuddled those lil tall slim cylindrical babies

i'm not here to judge,
just to appeal to yOur sense of reasoning!

sense perception is still the best known knowledge acquisition method

what's d point in just after a meal!!
ever stopped to think of it?

more like you want to aid the digestion process,
with a lil combustion

how about its highly elevating counterpart,
no filtering whatsoever...straight to those cells

the ones that get fried,
& have you thinking you're floating

the red torch doesn't instill fear,
or make you seem larger than liFe

first impression?
-->> one with a dirty habit, nothing more

my advice!
carry out future similar activities with the utmost discretion
all those puFFs aren't really cOOl

peddling our bodies in whatsoever manner to chairmen & sugary mamaz,
isn't a trend to follow either or a consequence of peer pressure

its purely chiOce,
with its benEfits & consequEnces!!!

i've gOt a list folks who indulge in this,
bUt i'm still trying to figure out what good publishing it would bring

i hear some govt officials were well taken care of on their last visit to owr,
& even get home services now
(D.T.Az..Duty Tour Allowances dey game too)

i know this isn't exactly gossip,
but otattler isn't all about gossip

read my intro,
i made mentions of trying to get ppl to do the right things

the gossip creates a vast platform to do just that


Saturday, April 17, 2010

mEmoiRs oF a faShiOn poLicE ofFicer *part 1*

i wake up in the morning
& take that refreshing yawn

Brush my fine set of white teeth,
take a long shower

get dressed quickly,
but making sure everything goes
(its what i do for a living, who better to look out for these things?)

just before i step out,
i strap on my gadgets!

you're wondering what dey comprise of?
no real slUgs...just my objective sense of reasoning

& an eye for the crimes against fashion!

its burstling out there,
meant to be dangerous for me too

but unlike the real security forces,
i'm not conspicuously dressed!

ifeoma comes along,
one quick shot from me to her knee...*pow*
(those knees + legs, don't go with pedal pushers)

a slight graze to the shoulder,
the shades don't quite go but i could let her off on a lighter note....afterall she aint no pro

next in my line of sight is arabi,

'beach shorts & an office shoe, + a collar'd button down shirt.

*pOw* *pOw*
that's def 2 shots for ya!!
(sorry about the big toe, but i aint sorry about the knee)

i know, i knw
i shouldn't always be about violence
(dialogue is always known to work)

Walk up to Nnenna,
Asked her if she had a rough morn'n
(don't blame me, couldn't spell it right out)

skinniez & a high heeled pair of slipperz
(a no no!)

with a slim Tee.
i know normally that should go,
but you should have tried sneakers instead

a low waist jean & no ass,
what did you intend to expose??

I'd give you a 2 ** commendation for them jeans,

the tank would have been anything but bad,
if it wasn't that perfectly slender body you got there

who'z the obnoxiously fat friend?

On sighting that really big belly
in a similar tank top,

i rush off to my car,
to get the gun wit the 2 bigGer nozzles

chk!!,.. chk! -.... poOWw!!
& there was a big hole right through the belly
(letn her go would have been signing up to live with that vision for the rest of my career)

no need returning the pump,
now i'm aware we have really daring offenderz roaming the streets!

you shouldn't be displaying yams in bum shortz,
the smaller nozzle dis time -->> *pOw*!

there'z a particular trend that goes with the waist coat & you aren't exactly living it!

sstzZ* sstzZ* 2 buzzes only

that's one folk who obviously got the memo.

A couple of shirts, teez & collar'd
nice jeans ...sneakers, plim solls*

not forgetn the good combo sense!

-->> that's 3 ***'z from me

Who tagGed this classy chic with alansi jeans??

from my point of view naw,
i think its 'true religion' i see!

the maroon handbag & office shirt,
an obvious fit!

unlike vivian who i shot off a bike a couple of mins ago

you'd think it was independence day,
with too much of green & almost negligible white.

you're still wanted for thOse granny pants oh!

i need to reload,
be back in a bit!


there's a difference between 'canz' like you call it & sneakers

yeah...sneakers are those you can wear with almost anything,
Airforce 1'z aren't the same thing

That's 2shotz,
i'm taking one leg off @ the knee (chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!)

i'm most definitely spraying you!
(ra TA tA ta tA *chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!*//*chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!*)

you've been a very daring offender for a while now

We don't have bulky guys with boobs still forming gangster with bandanaz....Lol
(i'm not ready to spare a transgender)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

liMiteD pUbliC oFfeRz

hey hey!
stop all the hating ok?

i came up with something,
a plan to push you all into further confusion!

call it a public offer,
but i've got openings now

if you don't really get it,
i'd put you through

you have a chance to work in collabo with otattler!!!
bRing up your stories...true* they must be
(i'D employ my own verification tactics)

it's not d molotov cocktail
aimed @ those who have wronged you

you all are complaining about how i play my ball,
hOw about you come play with me inStead??

show me your versions of
what a true gossip blog is all about,
& trust know i have a thing for innovation?

i'D be sure to post it if its credible,
& probably has a msg!

wE've got bright minds out thEre!

yOu've got your anonymity too,
we don't necessarily need to know who you are!
wE'd just work hand-in-glove!!

i knOw a few have been cajoled on accounts of me,
bUt you all haven't been half as correct!

i'm giving you a sneak preview into my mOdus oPeranDi
ab initio!

sOrRy i knOw i lost some theRE!...Lol
i meant my mode of operation from the start

no one has thiS much gossip
or dirT on this much ppl
(gimme some credit i've gOt about 6o'ish posTs up already)

caLL me Mr. Editor,
caLL me CEO!

it all goes through me!!!

i run thiS shiT,
i do it wEll...i'm sure you'd applaud mY tactics

just like its called in the real world
Limited pubLic oFferz

its actually limited!
first & foremost you'd have to be a follower of my blog

someone recognised atleast by me
its not rocket science, figure it out!

i work with gmail accounts onlY,
you could even catch me online for a quick chat anytime

i've already got ppl on my tattle list,
so hurry!


Sunday, April 4, 2010

meltDown of d finAnCial seCtoR

whaT eveR happened to Kelechi (a.k.a Bobbito)?

Ahah! i know. he voluntarily resigned.


quoting my source, "he was SACKED"!

did He think his sudden 'exile' would be unNoticed,

after constitUtiNg so much nuisAnce in o-town?

i don't think so.

the tattlers hAve kept mute on the topic b'cos there was tHat uncertainty.

i mean, with our dear 'Bobbie' you can't be too sure what's next.

he may haVe been offered a jOb in tHe world baNk! Lol

It is (or was) a wonder that a yOung banker could thRow so much weight around,

even more than a G.M.

that's O-toWn fOR you!

with bankers earning the hiGHest pay (besides politicians) what do We exPEct?

well,he better have saved up bcos it seems the rAiny days are here for him.

poor him.

oh well, he could still have least there is still that All season's 'freepass' (i suppose)
then , i hope his friends ArE there to support him.

the problem is,

most TALKATIVE and extra-social people, end up having no true friend.

hope it's not the case with our Mr. PoPular.

Q- who is treading his footsteps in the banking industry of O-town???

A- Gerald of bank PHB.

the tall dark dude (with the Harry potter feature),

seems to be everywhere these days......with female company ofcourse.

obviously he's still discovering the town.

aLL there is To it is, while he discovers the town, the town discovers HIM.


Friday, April 2, 2010

help me give it a title

i was gonna narrow this down to a set of ppl alone,
but there has been alot happening in this town all @ once

there's the case of the desperate house wives
sandy, linda & gina

when i said desperate,
dont think i was exaggerating

there's the case of sandra & chimezie (IMT final yr)
plus urch (PMT 400L)
(rem the one in the picture with her?)

thought it was just guys who had legit & illegit gfs
but apparently that saying about women doing it better,
really had grounds

she's officially going out with chimmy,
while still razzling urch
(boro pit & arusi ihiagwa's hostel are worlds apart...literally!)

Linda (chem 400L)

we know you haven't for once being tagGed as classy,
or known hOw to identify or attract the likes.

once upOn a timE,
you were going about it all with utmost discretion
(we onlY heard aboUt the gf beater, never saw a scene...Lol)
nOw you seem to have thrown all caution to the wind

cOs they move around school in that match-bOx of a bEnz?

sorry pls,
who exactly are you after?

zobs or the room mate nD???

there's the case of the famous five,
but i think i'd dedicate a whole post to them.

Linny john lawrence is finally on the market again
(so facebook tells me)
...dont tell me you took my words seriously?

maka's found a rebound gal,
a suituable one @ that too
(but wait aren't you leaving already?)

our half-cast'ish yr 3 damsel,
all holed up in obinze!

fair & hard to miss!!

so i'm guessing ugochi has gOt to step up her gaMe,
although that seems bleAk @ this time 'T'

she's goT a list of gUYs on her case,
there are two cJ's (one with prospects, the other i aint so sure!)
& one Dice

its gonna be hard to calc this probability,
considering the numerous variables...Lol

but i'm guessing time would help us with that

there's the story of zizzy & michael (rem him? of ms. universe's bell boys)
he's in a lower level,
but that doesn't seem to mAtTER!
She drOpped a yr too
i don't think what they hav is defined yet,
but i sha know the str**F is defined!...Lol (i didn't tell you oh!!!)


i'm sure most ppl are wondering how you got it off so fast,
you could tell them you just sent me a mail,
or prayed to have it off!

bUt anyways,
its our little secret, ok?

eXecutive hOstel girls!!!
do gUYs still get raped there...Lol
some boys really want to know

please would you do me a favour & shUt the hEll up on facebook?

we know yOu drink aLot,
mostlY to stupor

& have the mobility to get around to all the parties,
but you don't have to bUrden our eyes with every tiny lil bit of info

hOw's the e-search for a sUitable rePlacement?

don't tell me about all the others after owums,
i said SUITABLE!!!

cHioma ibea***h*

yeah you're right,
love isn't by force

bUt never knOwn t-baba to be the forceful type,
onLy thing he does with taLk about his swagGER!