Sunday, March 28, 2010

--->>> dRive bY

this is gonna be the beginning of a whole new series,
considering i just got myself a new toy

trust me its cUte,
but i most definitely can't tell you what make lEt alone, model

a hint:
its not one of those lil yellowish tricycles roaming through the streets

the same ones that could havE you thinking
the giant yellow comm. company have taken over the town

yeah, you're right
you now have to be looking out for a car,
not just behind for the tattler

this is called Drive bY

so i'd try to narrate as lucid as possible
events as they unfolded before my eyes

Obieke's G-class was parked outside crunchies
how did i know?

he's one of those in the habit of brandishing
their name plates on a variety of exquisite automobiles

i'm guessing this is as a result of supposed personal achievements,
oR just that urge money brings
(he's got lOads of it)

the G-klas was parked almost alongside
a blue BMW X5 sports utility vehicle

same one owned by a young lady i've seen around a couple of times,
fair & exceptionally beautiful

while still exuding that raw sensuality

iS she married???

thE refuge dump @ UBA junction was scary,
yet funny

thought owr was all about clean and green,
this was some nasty biodegradable sHit

come do what you supposedly know how to do bEst

adanna (imsu)

more description?
mediatrics, Mbonu ejike

chesty thunder-strikes
& recessive albinism

didn't know you bring glimpses of your room fantasies
to the open now!

is it just me,
oR you don't exactly plan on just eating that roasted plantain?

are you looking for suitable substitutes?

the batteries are dead?...Lol

those earrings look like items from a movie set used
to illustrate the village perspective!

plUs mayBe you haven't noticed,
piCk & dRop is not for every girl in owr oh!

most of us need to consult a prof. hair stylist,
to give us the best in accordance with our facial configuration and scalp aeration

all those times you were hitting your hEad,
was it temporary amnesia again or oLd age telling on it?

all this security outside dEstiny sUpermarket,
& i knew there had to be a prominent personality

or just a public office holder

your lil prescence though short-lived
had the female section a lil crowded just cos of our fine yOung man

i'm sorry for the seemingly misconstrued connotation (yOung)
bUt for a man in his 50s being this charming,
i'm almost left to ask if its just an official age!

i'm guessing our learned prof., the VC of a federal technological university,
was shopping for the Mrs. for palm sunday

romantic right?
some men could still be!

Nnenna (futo)

thought you were previously of the school of thoughts,
that trousers were somewhat unGodlY for ladies?

i'm guessing you've realised that trousers are more attractive
& abate rape by peverted nymphos unLike skirts

looked attractive from beHind girl,
i'm sure you must have heard countless times...just hOw wrong you were


a lil of E

fOr thOse of yOu whO have been happy beyonce's pregnant,
sorry to burst your bubble

but she's not!
was spotted with hubby jaY-z while enjoying some good time in chile

they were reportedly eating ceviche,
as in the spanish dish of raw fish
(uncooked fish is a big no-no for mommies-to-be)

nigerians shouldn't be wary of this,
we hav no biz eating raw fish of any nationality whatsoever...Lol

eVen behinD bars,
Lil wayNe can't seem to stay out of trouble

an arizona judge issued a warrant for his arrest
for apparently failing to turn up for a court date

in connection with the marijUana,
Ecstasy and several handguns found on his tour bus

the rapper has a pretty good excuse for not showing

Dwayne cArter III is currently lOcked up for the next year,
in New York City's Rikers Island for a separate illegal weapons rap.

the earliest i hear he can get out,
is in eight months on acct of good behaviour

time has finally runs out on 24,
the show has been cancelled after the 8th season

nice knOwing you Jack,
it was good while it lasteD.

i know this wasn't exactly the plan,
it was just meant to be otown gist

but my saying goes thus,
'diversity is the mother of innovation'


Friday, March 26, 2010

tHe pOwers of postive tHinkinG

there are rules that govern this world,
& strict adherence or mere awareness of them

would have you sailing through life smoothly
(more like you & problems are totally unconnected)

in saying this i certainly do not ignore
or minimize the hardships and tragedies of the world,
but neither do i allow them to dominate

You can permit obstacles to
control your mind to the point where they are upper-most

& thus become the
dominating factors in your thought pattern.

By learning how to cast them from the mind,
by refusing to become mentally subservient to them,

& by channeling spiritual power through your thoughts,

you can rise above obstacles which ordinarily
might defeat you

obtacles are imminent,
personally i think they're there to make us stronger

dO you knOw!
excessive thoughts about a prOblem,
onLy makes it biGger?

there are lAws that go almost hand in glOves with these ones,
the lAws of pOwer!

i'D be talking about those in a later post,
depending on how receptive you are to this one

my pOint to this post,
i've been a lil hArsh in my dEalings with otowners,
so i want to help you experience a new and keen pleasure in living.

theSe are rules i've adopted pErsonally,
& my liFe & sUccess stOries

if written would surely win a BESt sElleR,
(this is mE giving back a lil to yOu)

bElievE in yOurSelf!,
have faith in your abilities!

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers,
you cannot be successful or happy.

only with sound self-confidence can you succeed.

a sense of inferiority and inadequacy interferes with the attainment of our hopes,
but self-confidence leads to self-realization and successful achievement.

we should not accept the roles that anyone or society foists on us,
forge a new identity if the need be (i don't mean that literally)

-->> gud thing about this,
we get a chance to paint the new picture however we want!

yOu aLone have the inherent rights or ability to DeFinE yOu,
there's no strata or aspect of this liFe fOr a selectEd few

i'm talking self esteem first,
yOu wiN bY fiRst knowing you can't fail!

it is appalling to realize the number of pathetic people
who are hampered and made miserable by the malady
popularly called the "inferiority complex".

when proper steps are taken,
it can be overcome

You can develop creative faith in yourself
-->> faith that is justified!

plus applY this lil faith talk embedded somewhere in the Holy bOok
"I can do all things through Christ whO strengtheneth me." (Ph 4:13)

thEre wasn't an iota of segregation in the verse above,
sO whY can't we have that pErfect lifE

first step & most important,
is to discover why you have these feelings of no power.

that requires analysis and will take time.

We must approach the maladies of our emotional life
as a physician probes to find out something wrong physically.

yOu'd be amazed how things would flow towards,
rather than away from yoU.

feelings of confidence
depend upon the type of thoughts that habitually occupy our mind.

think defeat and you are bound to feel defeated.
But practice thinking confident thoughts,

make it a dominating habit,

& you will develop such a strong sense of capacity
that regardless of what difficulties arise you will be able to overcome them.

Feelings of confidence actually induce increased strength.

dOn't go thinking you can catCh me by thinking pOsitively about it,
i've taken measures to that effect...Lol


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

whO likes thE neW me?

i've made a few changes,
tell me what you think!

and dOn't think i've fOrgotten wHat this bLog is all about,
jUst cos i pOsteD an eSsay!

for those that appreciated it,
iT's goOd to havE ppl like yOu around
(otown isn't that bAd afterAll)


"is writing now irrelevant?"

this is an essay i submitted to for enrollment in the Young Writers Network Creative Classes starting in Lagos in April innitiative from the future nigeria, look them up @

i feel this essay is a message otOwners need to see, feel free tO air yOur views and they'd be highly appreciated.


from where i sit and type this,
there's no relationship whatsoever between any form of writing and the word

(its been long i wrote any formal kind of writing, just my blog
so you'd forgive me if i don't really get the clear cut guidelines to writing
an essay
but you would still get my 300 words...words in the bracket are exempted)

depending on how clearly depicted the intentions of a writer are portrayed,
the message embedded within can be a force for positive change.

motivational books written by exceptionally good writers,
have been known to have a positive impact on its readers... i'm one

i would put writing right after visuals in the knowledge acquisition process,
if the sequence or its orders were left to me to determine

Writing encompasses a set of seminal skills that is universally identified
with professional success and distinction.

One seminal skill that writing encompasses is communication.

Even at sophisticated levels of literary art and philosophic inquiry,
communication between the writer and the reader is the most basic and the
most exalted consequence of writing.

it could be argued that verbal communication is a lot easier than its
lettered counterpart,
or some would even dare say they don't possess writing skills and
can't quite fathom its intricasies

i think an argument can be made,
that effective writing is actually as accessible a skill as effective speaking.

Plus our generation seems stunted to some extent,
in literary terms

don't get me wrong,

in our days that have been taken over by the advent of the internet
and consequently online social networks such as Facebook,

clear-cut verbiage not matter how concise has been over run by short
forms of writing and slangs

most find it hard or rather far-fetched expanding their diction,
thereby occasional lapses in communication or outright non participation,
depending on the audience.

Its demeaning to say most of our youth can't express themselves verbally,
but adoption or mere realization of the writing prowess would be an
obvious plus.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

DinnEr dAsH!

where, where do i start?

should it be from the single laDies?
or their equally beautiful evening gowns?
(although, some missed the description)

the guys!

i'd give some space before i continue
(want to catch my breath)


nice suit,
looking good & all
(a tie would have been good too...buh!)

our very own best dressed
Living Word's Singles Dinner!!

--->> nOne other thAn our very oWn
Richmond Okorie

dude you looked gOod in that outfit

the bLazers,
clean cUt!

the sHirt,
right fIt!
(i was so impressed, see i gavE you like 10 lines)

i thinK nexXt should be "BIGGE"
(he just showed us two shades & a liL touch is all it takes)

**d**Or **n**al's sOn,

you seem to have outdOne yourselF
if i'm nOt mistaken that's the first time you've worn a tiE?

LOokEd sHarp,
& dinner like (unlike most ppl who didn't get the mEmO)

stripped sHirt
(i bet thEre are as much sides to you, as the lines on that sHirt)

that was meant to be a suit, right?

cUte aS hEll!
(short sleeves?...i doubt they're forbiddEn***UNIQUE ...iLike)

a Lil toO much about the guys,
letS move over to them hunnies!

you loOked eXceptionally goOd
(almost like you dOn't fit in around here -->> just passing by)

a sIght to beHold!
(i mean literally)

what colour was dat gown?
i was too mesmerized to nOtice

theY fit perfectly
you're a fiNe young woman, i mUst say!

good jOb!

i hear you and your sisters are the brain behind this!
Looked really good too!


Ps: i'm taking a lil breAk

no nEed sayinG you looked goOd
(you know you always do)

but i won't exactly say the same for your younger siS!

was i the reAson behind how bEautifully you were dressed?
(sOrrY about the scaRf ish...buh, i really dint get it)

rEally don't knOw what to say

lookEd nice,
but i also noticed you thought he did too!
(what's the catch??)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

zimu & som som's biRtHday bAsh

i know you'd have been wondering why i haven't mentioned your party yet!
no be una kill jesUs!...Lol

i've just been really busy!
(almost as bUsy as the bEes)

you gals really thrilled the crowd

Let me break it down

each table had a bottle of rEd lAbel,
a bOttle of Night train Xpress

rEd wine was ineXcEsS,
so no point counting how many were on the tAbles

the stOmach wasn't left out in their aGenda,
there was plenty ntanta to gO round

want the slightest inclination as to who i am?
-->> i spent an awful lot of time around that pOt,
munching awAy!...lOl

dOn't worry,
doN't want you all stressing your little minds

i know all about yOur elimination taCtics,
so i was carefUl enough to keep away from this one!
(bUt as usual, i get them in HD...lOl)

it was 40 - 40 from there!

if there was anything this parry didnt lack,
it was GIRLS! their multitUdes & mOstly on thE big SIDE!

so if you were say,
...a gUY @ this party
you'd be covered as long as you were with the moving tRain

in attendance we had,

our rotund kiki,
Ezinne (futo, fEddy)

uche juMbo...(Lol, dont mind me...just our plain old uche)

ck ice,
(who ended Up hiGh, lOud & never made it to 40 40)

(i hear you were taGged "tattler" @ the parry,
you know your legs were just being pulled right?...Lol)

'meka Ekpo
(hope you weren't embarassed,
i know the auditor general's son ish isn't funny
dAt was me hitting bElow the belt)

BookiE koliGs,
i hear tHEY were hard to miss!!

Emeka's roomMate
what's your story,
is it jUst puffS or there's mOre to you?

i hear you had my albino friend oVer!

i also hear you girls pulled alot of crowd
(in terms of the DRIVING fOrce)

hOw did the funding come about?
(i've been meaning to ask...ever since i started listening)

oH sH*t!
she has to rUn alOng now!
(a lecture to catch up with she says...i doubt)

be rEst assureD,
i'd be sure to continue


-->> Lady's dinner niGht tOnight <<--

it Living Word campus Fellowship's Ladies Dinner Night tOnight!
Jives Exclusive Home


V.i.P'z N1000.00
regUlar'z N500.00

you get the chance to carve out your own niche!

Living wOrd has got most of futO's finest the guys sure won't want to miss this one

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

* SEgrEGatiOn *

i've had it uP to here
(wish you could see how very hiGH up that is)

this anonymous crap is getting outta hand,

didn't know we had as much wimps,
as we did street wAlkers...

you've seen Deeznuts
(my good friend)

ck ice,
always liked his ingenuousness!

there's Uju Nwauwa,
all the way from ukraine

they are all members of this blog
& would be taken serious anytime they've got anything to say

jOining isn't roCket science,
plus we'd know who is talking @ all time (even if it's a fake name)

mY catch to this,
i'm about restricting comments to just members of this blog
& maybe, just maybe google account owners

take it as me,
trying to seperate the wheat from the chaff

Lemme know you all think,
i'd get my answers from this post's comments

i almost stopped the anonymous comments abruptly earlier on this afternoon,
but i guessed a pRior notice would be in order!


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

-->> e-aDVertS <<--

i'm back to purple,
i'm back to colourful!

i think i want to look more receptive to advertising

i'm open to e-adverts now,
Or have bEen for a while now

you know i'm the next bIG thing in otOwn
(...i even hear pot bellied men are talking about me)

clUb hOuses,
bArs (uPcomiG or already dormant)


relAxation jOints,

you name it,
i could help increase your customer bAse!!!

A hinT:
everyone's on otattler @ some point during any day,
sO how best to advertise services being rendered by you??

i don't need to over emphasize the fact that we're in the 21st Century
& almost bEing run out by tEchnolOgy & itS tactics

i have an email address

send whatever you want to me
& i'd be sure to reply

i'm not a monster,
& probably if i am...i'd be taggEd a nice one

i've received emails about favors,
aS reGards my pOsts or commentS

& they recEived my prompt rEsponse

i know this dOesn't quite fOllow,
bUt i just needed you folks to see this more like an interactive forum

my identity might be anonymous,
bUt accessibility to me isn't far-fetched!


..-->> 10% <<--..

right naw,
your very own tattler is experiencing live 10%
(i mean giving you details on-the-go!)

& you all are lucky i can paint pictures as vividly as possible,
infact sometimes i feel i speak imagery

mid day,
on a school day

stilletos & all
blouse on

black glittery handBag
i'm thinking chanel

but then again that won't be the first time
rotobi by douglas boutiques would surprise me!

no need for those,\
cos they'd soon come off

i think the bags were there first to drop
next were thOse shoes

i said one touch game right?
i LIED!!

this guy is skillful
or so it seemed @ first

the blouse's going of!

oh i can see the bra,
it White!

nice racks
(considering one just popped out)

cOuld make a gurl think thrOugh swinging the other way!!

he has been @ the nipplEs for quite a while now,
i think we both have a thing in common

she has started to stutter,
sorry, more like mutter!

as his head kept going down south,
her ring tones got louder
(if you know what i mean)

he took off whatever was left of what she had on

& there,
she was in her bday suit!

within secs he was in THERE,
(in & know how these things go)

i'm thinking,
by my count...if i'm not mistaken

by thE 6th or 7th thrust,

there was a jerk
(that didn't last so long either...that's why its missing the '-ing')

it also came with lOud noises,
but all that came from her was a HISS!

he'd got her clamouring for a lot,
only to leave her inbetween
(a lil closer to whr she started, than to the end)

a story that was promised 45mins
ended somewhat abruptly @ 15!
(oh! no, that would be giving him too much, considering most of it was foreplay!)

he didn't mind
(he'd gotten a chance to let it all out)

as for your dear ol tattler,
atleast i got my 10%

had no biz watching the transition,
i was out of there, no traces!


Sunday, March 14, 2010

phOtO commEnts

its a 'rack' affair! (you know what a pair's called?)

Friday, March 12, 2010

pHOto cOmmEnts!

a clip from richmond's party!

hApi bUfdaI gini -->> tHe seQuEL <<--


didn't quite have the full gist on your party before,
wondered why!

you're known to make a bIg bAnG wiTh tHis sort of thing,
bUt i understand the theme of this last parry was "insufficient" funds!!

what happened to the 100 bottLes you promised your guests?
(don't worry, i won't turn this into 21 Q?s)

two bottles of champagne alone fOr OYi,
& that was it!!

tell me i'm wrong,
but isn't a bOttle N2,000 @ itEm 7?

what happened?
things didn't go according to plan?

Let me guess,
you were to impress him with the drinks,
show hiM you're capable...

then he'd continue
(MOre like paRt fundiNg)

but fRankly,
i think h\E wasN't exactly impresseD with the cHeap aSs 'Andre"
MOet could have worked better for you!

Don't you think??

i know there are plenty fiShes in the riVEr,
but you couldn't have sent him mOre than three (3)!

should i help you with the cOst analysis of your parry,
don't think i can't

thE scoop i gOt was well detailed,
didn't know wE now have gosSip in 3D!

(wE girls are good @ what we do)

not only did your guests not get anything close to the 100 bottles,
some didn't get any at all

were thOse bum shorts Or GRanNY PaNts?

the hOuse cOat...tell me i lost tRack of the trENd,
& dAts whaT iS in vOgue naw!!

wHat's with finE gIrls & uGlY bOYs?
(been meaning to ask you that question!...something tells me you'd have the right answers)

what was that jersey for?

just another way to show you're dating the auditor general's son....Lol

the one that couldn't even buy you fish,
even after you cried out for it & made so many side comments to that effect

who was the side kick on pink T.Mz?

Lets assume you were having sober reflections,
cos i understand you had nothing to drink all through!
& kept mute all the time

nOne of the girls fascinatEd yOu?

not even the rotund kiki?/

i have it under reliable authOrity that she likes/(d) you,
(call it like @ first sight)

sO if you're interEsted,
take it i'm now playing HitCh!

i guess yoU must have realised you bailed on some of your guest,
heard some of them had tO turn back!!

sO much for 100 bOttles...

i suggEst neXt time,
yOu put your mouth where your money is!
(that's how the saying gOes, right?)


Sunday, March 7, 2010

-->> cOnvoCatioN <<--

now this is what i'd love to call an article
not just any post

its cOnvoCation in Futo

i'd start with the newly renovated 'Hall of Mercy'

the stage's been tiled,
air conditioning sets have been installed
(standing tall or resting on the wall...your pick)

office-like window blinds!
sliding windows

i know... the smart ones are already thinking thoughts!

for tattler to be describing ever so vividly,
means he/she's been around hall of mercy recently!

couldn't have been the actual ceremony,
it should be Living word Campus Fellowship

yeah...sUe me!
i was there...infact, always have been!

only wished there'd have been some miracle

& we'd have enjoyed the cool atmosphere,
while the word of God infuses into our heads @ astonishing speed and clarity!!

but no,
we could hardly have the mics on

Nneoma (gEologY 300L),
you looked really nice in that gown
(turning out to be a really fine one, whatever your doing, it working!!)

you sure shouldn't have missed out on the "GentleMen's MEeting"
you were dressed to attend!

always knew you had a thingy for broWn
nice outfit!!

plus where have you been??
still a student?

ever present at parties...wouldn't have tagged you for a regular @ cHurch too!!

what in designer's name...Lol, did you tie on your hair?

did you loose some weight?
any particular reason??

i've gotten carried away as usual

was meant to be talking about convocation!

musKi & maKA,
it's really cute you guys allowed your mamas over

most guys are ashamed,
or rather,
embarrassed when she comes and brings the whole kitchen

they'd prefer to do it in bars,
than with the parents!

just like i hear T-blast did with his convoc party @ vandoz!!
(why wouldn't he?...isn't he the best graduating student from Petroleum Engineering?)

impressive guestlist i must say!

the infamous Nono & Chingy!

Nneoma (gEology 300L) also present,
i'm guessing Jessica too!, but....

Ifunnanya (civil 400L)
thought you didn't party?

Dialla Sonata,
was it school run today?

heard it was red wine all the way,
beEr was some sort of segregation!

what business did you have on the convocation ground?
even in the scorching sun you still wanted to portray yourself in a different light!
(we know better)

back in umuchima,
it was madness all the way

a lil tussle here and there at pioneer,
one over the crate of beer and bottle of red wine igwe gave some folks!

Eissman had series of activities,
that night didn't seem a barrier!!

i'd keep updating,
as the events unfold in my head!!

i loved those shorts!
really sexy,
but rumour has it you aren't really a student here
(you know the worst kind of deceit?....sElf dEceit!!)


-> eXcellEncE <-

call me an evangelist,
ask me what the hell i'm talking about,
i really don't care.

stumbled on this gospel jotting,
i had earlier planned on posting it on facebook

but i kind of forgot
(my bad!, but they say all things worketh together for good for those who truly love him...yeah?)

i'm now open to a bigger audIEnce!!!
hence more ppl can read it!!

i'm talking about striving for excellence in everything,
& christ alike

Christians --->>> Christ - Like
(as HE is, so we are... or rather that was the original plan)

we all claim we're christians right?
& some even dare say they're good christian

Q: what's the difference between when you were in the world & now you're in christ??
i thinks this is a food for thoughts....enjoy relishing it!

Let me just go ahead & relay a message i once received about excellence, an excellent person & all it entails

Excellence: to go the extra mile, to out-do yourself, can't be improved upon!

it will definately cost you more, it doesn't manage anything!


* doesn't cut corners
(you know what they say about the road that seemeth right/faster unto a man...& its end's destruction?)

*doesn't fornicate
(i know its hard but He really doesn't like it)

*says what he means & means what he says
(you should be able to give your word & honor it...HIS word's unflinching)

*has self control
(having a strong will power against most things is always a plus)

*keeps re-inventing himself
(the path to excellence is a continuous one expects you to do it all @ once)

*has boundaries a.k.a principles

*doesn't do what he feels, does what is right!!

*knows the 'buts' in his life and strives to remove them

one of the reasons for opening this blog
was to somehow get people to act right

when you know you're doing something wrong
& in the full glare of the public

yOu sure would act right

i just defined being excellent as regards christians

so iTS you & yOur cOnscience now
to some reasonably extent you know what's right

do you ever take a mental stock of your life?
sober reflections also help


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

JaZzY FiZzlE @ Armani's

playing a saxophone in owr?
(who does that?!!)

armani's Bar 'n' Grill
in works layout?

the place's nice and cosy

for beer & its point 'n' kill fishes
(just like their name, they do alot of things 'n conjuNction?...Lol!)

dOn't tell me you don't still get it?

anything other than executive brothels
and drinking sprees!

with timaya blasting through the speakers
or j martin's 'oyoyo'

& 'iva'

wande coal's 'ghana freestyle'
2face's iMpLiCaTiON!

& most things from M.I would do too

i get carried away at times!

was just drifting through my playlist

but puhLss not a jazz replica of these things
what makes you think that's lucrative?

anyways innovation's always welcome!

by me,
& i'm guessing the world at large too

so you just might make that difference
hope you stand the test of time!

G yet another successful endeavour,
more grease to those elbows!


i thought that car or rather, my bad!! THE mini van was for baby mamas only!
don't tell me i just mistakenly stumbled on a scoop there,

you always did seem uptight,
you got a baby mama too?

this one you're always seen switching cars!
today's the hyundai sonata

& maybe,
just maybe on days that involve


-->> the red mini van!!
(the colour's even cliche!...Lol)

i know normally no one should reason this far,
but i don't count myself as normal

don't be deCeivEd!!!

there could always be more than two sides to a story!