Wednesday, December 30, 2009

a lil insight

yet another gossip,
a little insight into my modus operandi

i could be anyone
a normal person you would feel free talking to on a normal day

checking up on your well being
or just updating on our little petty gossips

i tried calling this normal o-town gurl

wanting to inquire about something she had apparently done to wrong me

nothing serious
but it was aimed @ bringing up conversation

so that i would probably get that much needed update...Lol

because frankly,
i'm admiting to the fact that being away during this yuletide season has left me a little rusty

i tried & tried for about an hour
no exaggerations

but her number was busy all through that period

& i'm thinking to myself

is this what the life of our average 'ahia owr' entails?
because i've always suspected she was one

i'm definately not going to name names

since i'm thinking aloud
& speculating too

but i'm almost sure
she was making new year reservations

because consequent upon the fact that owr is in short supply of their kind

as a result of the yuletide season & its villa relocation constraints,

the very few left behind in owr
are in HOT demand

i'm guessing i've helped a little in narrowing it down

- who's left in owr now?


Tuesday, December 29, 2009


the number of gay people in o-town is on the rise with each passing day.
now, there seems to be more bi-sexuals in town than straight people!

and as a matter of fact,
it is more rampant among the female folks than the male folks in our dear O-town.

this brings me to my subject:

A supposed top member of BeLeWi!!! lol

this tomboy has decided to take lesbianism to the next level!

She should be a medical student in IMSUTH Orlu
(only and if only she has finally cleared her never ending 2nd MB!)

a regular face on all 'em BLW posters,
huge and quite tall, might have looked taller if not for the hunchback.

dresses in nothing else other than male clothes.

and when i say men's clothes, i mean right down to her boxers!

the bible said something on that issue right?

o-tattler wants to warn this chic

that the straight guys in o-town are mobilizing to go against her violently for shortening their ration for so long.

tell us,

is it true you openly have beef and diss guys over your fellow girls?

what is it that thrills you about your fellow girls?

have you ever thought of the fact that if your Mum were like you,

she'll have saved us the trouble of having to tolerate your presence?

the sad part is that you are reducing our chances of sending you and your kind off to Orlu for good!

by having extra exams in o-town and grooming your apprentice that looks like an indian rubber ball.

when the hell are o-inhabitants going to be done with you?
like your course is not long enough!! PHEEEEW!!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

BirTHday preSeNt fROm O-taTler!!!

O-tattler has dirt on everyone!
all it will take is time for your turn to come.

today,i am generous enough to send a birthday present!

i gathered from the most reliable source (facebook-lol) that today being 27th of december is your birthday

so i thought to myself,

'why not pick out something special for him?'

and to spice it up,
i have decided to let my beloved readers guess your name
before i let it out myself!

nice idea, you must agree. Lol

400L, petroleum Engineering student of Futo

dark and wiry ( a physique one can also refer to as 'lean')

not bad looking but definitely not anywhere near Ex- Gov Donald Duke!

you think you have been round owerri in terms of girls???

no doubt,you have mingled wit a few of o-town's cute girls but for some reason they never stay.

o-tattler will carry out a research on that issue!

and for some inexplicable reason,

you strike most people as a 'good,calm dude',

ofcourse o-t@tler knows better.

down to business

firstly, what's up with your father

and being the Auditor General for the Federation?

lol again and again!

its been approximately two years since this rumour and

records show that he was neither crowned nor considered for the post

bro,were you just narrating a dream?

because o-tattler's investigations have revealed that infact no public office whatsoever has been held by any of your family members.

secondly,whats with you calling your male friends 'bf'?

i suspect that's why it has never really worked out with you and any of those cute girls you have tried dating

or is it because of the fact that you snitch on your guys?

a more direct question, are you gay?

because you catwalk unlike most real guys i know
. If that is the case,o-tattler urges you to be the real you, i would suggest partners you know.

i'd give it to you

your packaging is superb,

but its what is hidden beneath that really matters

& thats what i want to find out from you or from the public's scrutiny

happy birthday!

*o-t@tler*(dont call me bf pls- lol)


The fear of O-tattler is fast becoming the beginning of all wisdom!

People are now careful how they act in Public
and who they talk to,

cos you never know,
0-t@tler might just be right beside you! lol

i couldn't help but notice some positive peeps in lil' O-town.

I am talking about the responsible and positive-minded folks that we (owerri dwellers) can boast of.

pls join o-tattler to give up 10 GBOSAs for people like:

Shadow (formerly of Law Faculty, IMSU) and his sister Peace (IMSU)

Siba (Honda Crv 2008 - Futo)

Chibuike Ilomuanya (pet Eng FUTO)

Adaugo Ohadugha ( of IMSU )

Victor Umeh (graduate of IMSU)

Ifunnanya Okechukwu (Civil Eng Futo)

Osuji Catherine (Poly Nekede)

Francis Ikedi ( Poly Nek)

Nkechi Adigwe (of IMSUTH ORLU)

Uju Okoro (formerly of Law faculty, IMSU)

Engr. Chima Okafor (recent grad. Futo)

Chidi (400L chem Eng, FUTO)

Paul Nwosu (of Alvan)

Black-coloured Honda Baby boy (male graduate that stays in the Egbeada area) lol

Chinaemerem Ude (FUTO)

Nwigwe Emeka (IMSU)

Egbujor Tochukwu (Futo)

Funsho Ogundokun (IMSU)

the aforementioned have proved so far that the problem with owerri is not the town itself but the people that live in it.

however, o-t@tler will not hesistate to bring his readers news on them if need be! Lol


Friday, December 25, 2009

GrAb yoUr CoPY nOw!!

to my utter dismay,
on one of my drinkn' sprees at one of our many o-town bars,

on a rather rowdy night,
tryna get in the christmas mood

unnoticed as i was,
maybe because of who i was with

or even my drab attire,

despite the fact that i was seated in a position where i could see and be seen!

one of our most popular faces in owerri walked in with a 'newbie' (seemingly her latest prey)

& went straight to a position where they could see & not be seen (smart!)

this got me thinking
& i had this feeling i was going to see something worth talking about!

baam! there wuz the spicy gist staring right at me. . .

. . .a blow job was goin on!
now, if this couple (especially our dear 'ahia owerri') could go that far in public . . .???

in the spirit of the yuletide,i wil not mention names
(unless of course my ardent readers insist).

however, i will not be carrying out my duties efficiently if i dont give clues at least! doNt u think? lol

the joint is situated in the Amakohia area (not a very decent place i must say),

i dont hav much on the newbie,
but the chic? i definitely do.

she is one of 'em cute girls dat claim to be Imsu students,
sources say she is always seen around the business college,

petite but shapy, light-skinned ,has difficulties expressing herself in english language, attends every party,show and the likes in town.

i think she lives in the ikenegbu area. . .enough on a sister!

trust o-tattler, i also gathered that the guy works in an oil servicing firm in Ph and has spent almost a week in town.

Looks like he'll be here till the new year. Good looking dude though, and with a fat pocket to match!

perfect xmas gift for our dear Ch. . . . .


visiting hours!

out of sight
shouldn't be out of mind!

you all remember Dj Emeka ryt??
yeah the same one who kidnapped our very own Ginika & tried ropping her into the whole mess!

luckily enough, she was vindicated!

now the gist is,
who's going to visit him this christmas?

its the season of love & sharing
& i'm sure seeing friendly faces would help rekindle what ever hope he has left.

rumour has it that,
'remember me' by T.I
is his best song of 2009 & he knows the lyrics by heart...Lol!


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas Owr!!!

its christmas day!
& wanna tell you a gossip about today!

its a known gist,
but some ppl still dont know it!
(just as common sense aint common...Lol!)
so i'd go ahead and tell it anyways!

some two thousand yrs ago,
a woman was about to give birth to one of the most powerful & iconic babies ever!

she couldn't do this in the comfort of her home
because someone, somewhere wanted his head even b4 he was born!
but she wouldn't let this happen!

so saddled on their donkey,
she & her husband Joseph left home
...for a far far away land!

no INNs left so,
he was born in a manger.

2000yrs after,
her love for him & zeal to see him become the man he was meant to be,
still pays off!

he's the reason for the season!
the reason we all are alive!
the reason we all have a second chance to make ammends!!!
& lead a better life

lets not loose sight of this reasons,
they should be paramount in our minds today
& always!

Merry Christmas from *o-t@tler*!!!

Career Talk

Jackie Lambert, rumour has it dat your status as a medical student in IMSUTH-orlu is still hanging in the balance!

tell us, are you on some kind of 'village scholarship scheme' to produce the first medical doctor of your village?? Lol

that will be gross misappropriation of the community's funds!

you want to know why?

*o-tattler* has noticed u misuse d funds on cheap hangouts in o-town. . .
And underaged boys! Instead of 'em medical books and bones!!

you are a fine girl, no doubt
but BRAIN's paramount requirement for studying medicine and surgery.

hellooo. . .check yourself!


Wednesday, December 23, 2009

-Chinny John Lawrence

dont tell me the ever brave
chinenye owums changed her name on facebook
because of me?

tell me,
or rather tell us how you came about the new name.

or what prompted it!


Riddle Me dis!

Of the male specie,

of the whitest human race,
(serious case of albinism)!

fAt (or what his miserable female fans would call 'huge')

always seen driving fcuked up and archaic "jallopies"!. . .

. . . and that has to be wen he is not sitting @ the passenger's side!

never spends friday night anywhere other than the premises of a club house,

all seasons & in rare cases sugar!
i know you're wondering how i know ryt?

how else i'm i meant to get my scoops?

tries to fit into a group he sees as "the cremê group",

i hear he has stuf to do wit some old guest house somewhere in town,

deems himself "the cremèst of his kind"

for the records,
he actually is although me sees it as a case of the one-eyed man in the land of the blind. . .Lol!)


are you feeling me t-baba ehh?!

Toby Ekomaru i've seen you alot with that Chioma chic

i cant say for sure what's brewing, but i know something is.

is she to be given that gf title?

or she's just one of the lot i see flocking around blackie?

i dont quite get what the attraction is,

but i'm guessing its your impeccable sense of humour that does the trick!

whatever it is man,
its working!


Tuesday, December 22, 2009


*o-t@tler* has spotted a new face in town.

so far i have gathered dat he is a corper,
& drives a crystler or so i think
but the main point is,

its a sleek car and no doubt will attract 'em Owr girls
... its just a matter of time.

rumour has it that he is from one of them rich "oil money"!
and has wads of IT to throw around.

you could help me put a name to this face;
he's been seen on different occasions @ Ideal Suites and its environs.
which makes me want to believe he stays in the world bank area.

i'm hoping to use this one as a case study (or control experiment)
to know just how long the incubation period is for "newbies" in Owerri!
(i.e how long it takes for him to join the Owerri's vicious circle)

oh yeah!
i forgot to add that he is really cute

me adding a lil SPICE!!!

i'm wondering how it took this long for his name to get here

you know Chibueze ( a.k.a Spice! )?
Our first runner-up @ the Mr./Mrs. Campus Nigeria

so my question now is,
how did this fine young man end up with Ejim??

you know they are one of the newest couples in 'o-town' right?



Adrian Nwokeji is gunning for the town's PLAYBOY title!

there are strong contenders,
so i doubt he'd get that easily though!

...i know all bout ur escapades with two sisters @ once!

( those two might have been lenient, but some 'o-town' gurls i know wont let you off the hook that easy )

fine boy no doubt,
C.R.E.A.M too!
(*cash rules everything around him*)

he dRives a 'black' Benz 190!

that's the part that confuses me the most,
but i guess its kind of unique (compared to all them yahoo boys with their 2.2s & baby boys!!)

so you get the picture now, right?


Monday, December 21, 2009

bookie koligs

lets not jump into conclusions,
but i'm sure we're allowed to speculate though!

where are you always seen running off to with your bigs ass bags?!

you dont strike me as the chairman type but maybe there's something we aren't getting!

izzit! a bf you're afraid to bring into the fold??
you sure know what your friends are like for starters!


one for the holidays!...Lol!

Ginikachi's back & was seen @ her 1st social function, brandishing her newest bf 'Maddox'! (yeah!, the same one)

looks like its a holiday affair
considering only last hols (which wasn't light years away) she was supposedly dating Henry!

i'm watching


howizzitaffectingmi? aint!

spotted chinenye Owums!,
kissing Nnamdi Iheme @ her birth party last saturday

it baffles me how owr gals dont get tired of going round the Iheme brothers in circles!

izzit the 'ex' bf played the chaffeur all through the party!
& who got them lips eventually??
(talk about *car washing*)


Futo Gradz!...''its rudiments''!

it seems to be the norm these days!

students spend way past their supposed due date in the universities!

& are so nonchalant about it

its graduation time again in FUTO,

Fly (Araka Solomon Okey, IMT {supposed final yr} ) flocks with birds of 'like' feathers with him!
knowing fully well that they'd be back here next year like they never left

still they go ahead with the normal rituals
of drenching themselves in water! where ever they're caught

in your full regalia,
or birthday suit!

they are 'neck deep' in these activities
even more than those seeping into the labor market immediately!

when i say 'like',
i mean an added year or more to the 5 tedious years already in school!

final year girls too aren't left out!
We know your coochys are on promo @ this time of the year!



there's alot that goes down!
in this small town ov 'o town'!

i'm opportuned to be in the path of most of the town's gossip!

added to the fact that i took xtra precautions in keeping my id anonymous

so no angry mob!
or embarassed gfs/bfs can break this lil cute head of mine!

i'm gonna be bringing you the town giSts & gOssiPs,
hot & spicy!

no details left out,
no mincing of words irrespective of whose ox is gored!

'o town' gurls (you know what they say about them)??
if you dont,
i'd go ahead and tell you anyways!

a census has shown that every owr gal is a potential whore'

i know the 'whore' word sounds a lil harsh,
but that's really what it is!

look on the bright side!

now you'd know what exactly it takes to get who!
(get to skip the frivolities...Lol!)

you'd also prolly also get to find out who f**kn around with your gal

(i know, i know! always knew or suspected she was sleepin around? now, you get to put a name to the suspicions!)

& all them ''CHAiRMEN''!!!

i hope house wives are stil bored enough to follow the town's gossips on the internet & in the comfort of their homes or mobile fones!

enough of barking...
i wanna bite! *stay tuned*