BBz & MatchBoxes

My town isn't backward after all, oTowneRs are moving at the same pace as the rest of the world. I'm talking about going along with the bLackBeRry craze that recently swept the country.

Don't go misusing the functions or getting it twisted, the BlackBerry is a business gadget in the sense that it keeps you abreast with the trends as they set & emails on the go, not a medium of gOsSip or a show of class. Having one doesn't make you better than the next, or classier, it onLy means you found it necessary to acquire one.

Its the latest good stuff to hit Nigeria after Opera mini & countless cheat codes; considering the fact that we've got to leave mediocrity and feel at ease paying for services being rendered, the BIS fee, although way too exorbitant at the moment, is a welcome development.

If you've recently realized that you seldom receive phone calls or seem left out of the loop, I'm only guessing its cos you haven't got yourself one. They say it makes friendship a whole lot easier, I think I endorse that school of thought a 100%.

This isn't my usual sinister self, so the MatchBox ish isn't a personal dagger aimed at anyone in particular. An efficient automobile is one that gets you from Point A to Point B, without the hassles of hopping from one keke to another and trekking the rest of the way, on routes you haven't exactly mastered or those not motor able.

My point to this, there's no need waiting to take the highWay to wealth with a 180km/hr speed limit. Just like it is said in the hoLy books, all is vanity and it is always better to learn that sooner than later. So if you're privileged to have a working car, feel free and ride in it with your heads held up high.

Slow & Steady wins the race, I know normally this turkey won't fly with me bUt winning the race is all about arriving the end alive and doing so with the least of regrets. I'm talking about *yAhOo* and its many other fraudulent counterparts, I hear many oTownERs have taken things to the extreme by engaging in despicable acts & taking extreme measures (yAhOo +). In the end, its all vanity, trying to impress, trying to oppress, feeling among, getting more ass than a skirt, they're all vanity. There's a time for everything, its only normal that we should learn to wait.

For my BB folks and those literate enough to access the internet, hit me up with emails, we could run this shit together. If you love my works you could do the same, everyone loves to feel appreciated.

Plus, #FF (follow) me on twitter @otattler. Shout out to my current #FFs to name but a few, @moby247 @chayomao @T_babaa @ceekayMe @icey312 @Mirab3ll3z3 @KokoletteTeddy @prittypreachuju @supar_cee @jayboogie_912 @m3xy_903

*o.t@tLeR*

birthing a nEw LeAf witH jUSt wOrDs*!

Turning a new leaf is a prerequisite for not being a withered one*!, so you see...its better L8 than never, when amending our ways is the motive.

'Outta the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks'
»» we are what we say!
'so says the HoLy bOok'

•Good words are imperative for a good life; Asides speaking good things about myself like I always do, I'd also begin speaking good about Otown & I urge y'all to do same, bAd words never produce a +ve effect!

*yOu leAd by exampLe, riGht?
I'm sorry for anY slanderous & image demeaning tattles on my pOst!
it was all done in goOd fate,
But now I understand that you cannot speaK into being any 'GoOD' with bad! & for that, is why I'm sOrRy...I'd adopt a more +ve approach! can't fathom what it would be yet, but I'd strive to*!

We've got bright minds in this tOwn!...we've got ppl with a taste for innovation, we only have to speak & work positivity into it.

*opportunities are endless#
#tHinK it; #spEak it; &#work it into being

StOp tHe rAntinGs about oBiaKu, beneath all that...there's still that common ground we all share! #she'sonLyHumAn

& abOut mY laSt poSt, it was all about speculations...I dint say for certain dAt any oF thosE mentioned really have anY of the things STated!....I was jUst speaking the things maiNLy on the lipS of otowners, coated in LOads of english (o kwa i ma, ashiri ka mma na bekeE...Lol)

I know mOst oF uS here havE our faults, buT I've never seen a mOre alive populace. Some anonymous peRsOn droPpeD a comment on my last post, inquiring as to why I was wasting my obvious literary talents on this toWn. Reason being that nothing I say caN change the actions of O'inhabitants, bUt I beg to diFfeR!

There's been a drastic change in the way ppl go about thEir biz these days, @ first its aLL about hiding from Otattler's prying eyes or trying so hard not to give me something to talk about...bUt in tHe LonG ruN, their's an iota of chaNge in our actions (4d beTter).

Ppl nw throw classier parties, for fear of being ridiculed by my literary bullets (Lol, tHis is mE makinG mockery of what I've been trying 2 do in tHis tOwn) but I hOpE for an owr whr ppl are productive & not jUst engulfed in the nothingness thAt has prEsenTLy befallen the town.

Let's make an exception and call this spade (o'tOwn & O'inHabitAnts) a golden tea spoon for a change & we just might dine with royalty, in eventuality »» I hAvE faith wE all wiLL, yOu have too??

*o.t@tLeR*

venereal & post-venereal!

OK
I'm back now! My great & unanticipated silence has left everyone flaunting a lil too much of the dirt they've got in them! Now I've got reason to tattle again!

More visits to Jonny Pharmacy and 'special' maternities around amakohia, you'd notice that this rain is acting as a dual catalyst! More babies are lost and more are about to be born all in the space of 8months +, to be very precise. Well u just got to the fuNny part of me.

Now let's do d counting!
Uzunma...(Clean and Green). Gonorrhea is really a bad disease to suffer from during this wet phase, where bacteria and fungi have better chances of survival. She hasn't gotten much of a problem, guys beware...go for a test with her if u doubt me, the Tattler!!

Sha...sha...Sharon..plus Shu..shuuu...Shukpo...this one na combo bombo! The kind of itches you'd get from these two vendors would leave u devastated for long enough a time of your sexual life....Beware! Don't have facts, but that's what the public's screaming, you know they have a way of being right...not definite though!

Ezichi Sapphire...go easy on them postinors oh! Personally, o wu ghi che re ka m bia!, I know they leave an after effect of a slippery womb later on in life (& by slippery I mean, unpredictable! 50_50 chance of being able to conceive). I'm guessing you'd still want to have those cute lil sapphires, right?! A word's enough, don't know if you're wise.

Chinenye 'Konti' Nduka!
Your level of sexual infidelity amazes me, going mildly about everything I've heard, you could be in for some serious shocker not too long from now. Even under all dis rain ( a curse & blessing likewise to most), you hang around these pot-bellied men who are known to be serious carriers of one thing or the other. They possess either the 9months I.T placement letters or some death sentence, duly signed by the medical judge...you are Forewarned oh! Don't say I didn't say it, next time I could get the wives on your trail by naming names

MaDox, I'll let the whole O'town know your status soonest...like I always say, it aint far-fetched knowing for certain your records! I'm sorry if you feel betrayed though, but I won't be so quick to judge, if I were you...might just be doing a good friend a favor. There's been a lot of rumour going around lately about your positively inclined status, and the louder their voices get...the more shallow discerning ppl will believe it.

*O.t@tler*

titLE??

owums,
you dint have to go all the way to ugwuta so i dont talk!

should have realised by naw dat i would,
hapi belated birthday anyways!

Nnamo really did rock your world,
you honestly didn't think i had the slightest idea?

anyways,
i'd watch you thread the same paths many have indulged in
...& i'd be here when its over and done with

Ifeanyi Ekeh,
wat are you doing holed up in lagos

you had everyone believe ur abroad,
don't you know these lies hav a way of springing up?

i'm asking alot of questions,
i've lost my zeal

its same old...same old,
i didn't get otowners to act right
...just got them to do the same bad things with the utmost discretion

aren't you all tired of talking about the Iheme's?
aint their fault they're accustomed to silver

or that every owr gal's a potential ashy,
depending on d definitive parameters!

dont go attacking me just yet,
make sure you understand wat exactly was said first

t-baba...joy ochije,
need not explain wat went down!
fura's mad already!

some anonymous dude suggested i show myself,
wont want anyone to make minced meat of me
....till i'm sure you all hav learnt to handly the ugly truths i dish out

*o.t@tler*

feeDbAcks

Zinny paLLy!
last time i checked...your last name wasn't pally!

are you basking so much in the euPhoria,
that you had to adopt his last name?

don't you think its high time you considered
leaving that married man for his deaR wife?

remember one good turn deserves another!
...& that karma's a real biTch

hey Uju Agb*gU,
its been a while...thought to kick up your own story!

do you still drAw those bEdsheet maPs?...Lmao!
i'm sure you didn't see that coming, jUst messing with yOu

hOw about all them catFights you engage in over men?
(i didn't say 'bOys' or 'gUYs')

these things aren't personal,
its actually meant to be a level playing fieLd out thEre!

survival of the sexiest,
the oLder you get...the further down the list you're pushEd!

Lynda song!
what's uP?...haven't gotten any reports about you sneaking in & out of the mansion
(i've got mY tentaCles on yOu & a hOst of oTherS)

in all ramifications,
a 'biG fiSh' aint exactly a striking figure,
so oma wuchi has got some explaining to do, as to what struck her!

don't tell me its your lethal pockets?...Lol

well as the saying goes,
birds of the same feathers flock together!
(see 9 lines above, if you don't gEt)

eTafO's tEddY!
pls get rid of those tattoOs!
for your sakes and mine...hope they aren't permanent!

aWommamma gals,
you all are advised to be weary of your rotund selves inside kekeS,
before they come crashing down with you in it!...LOl
(one of the feeDbacks i got in my mAil...not me oh!)

*o.t@tler*

*come -->> back*

thought i was some biG name in owr!
but apparently,
i've got tO wOrk my way up the laDder like every other struggling venture
& yEt i'm surprised i haven't got mE no competitors springing up here and there yet!

once upon a time
i was loved (or atleast hated) by all of owr...not sO sure about noW!!
wiLLing to try though,
...talking about winning back your love or its hostile conterpart

haPi buFdai mAka (18/05),
congraTs on your graduation too!
so sorry to pry though...bUt who's the slim'ish,
fine feddy gal you're always seen with?

the new one?!
thought it was jennifer?...(anyways, you'd always have me confused)

she finally got into school?!
thought she gave Up on school(ing) a long time ago?
*crystal* jamila*...which do i take pls?

CherechY,
you're an ojimgbo material...don't think otherwise oh!
the finely constructed phonetics don't have me fooled

seems you've been infected by jenny & the boy craze,
no bOttles in extreme conditions pls!

i hear oBinzE's the new sodom & gOmorrah!

lesbianism's now the norm!
lots of make out sessions alongside weedY sessions

& just as they showcase their soft sides,
same goes for the harder 3/4

hear the female fraternities are the ones pulling their weights over there,
while thier male counterparts have obviously got a thing or two to learn!

pls oh,
i was directed to ask this personally,

is chiNgy rYan junior still a student?
oR just beinG helD back bY lOve? (....'yeah, she would marry you' Lol)

*o.t@tler*

...suppOsed iMpliCatIoN

Don't know how fast gist flies in this town anymore,

seems like i'm the only one doing all thE worK...Lol

But i'm guessing some, if not most of you have heard that

your very own owr tattler was at 'ebe ngwori'...imsu junction yesterday evening!

their weekly request show witH rEal pLAyer
was on

& yours truly requested 'impLIcaTion' by tU fAce

intended getting a few ppl implicaTed...Lol,

bUt there was lil or nothing to report

maybe with the exception of dJ T-jOe (of oriEnt fM)'s birthday!

haD alot of cash to throw around,

& equally enough folks to throw it @!

maybe a lil teenie weenie gossip!

thE fisH was superb!

some of you think i aint got no gossip, no more?

You'd be surprised,
was only on a self acclaimed vac!

i neeD NOT tell yOu to stay tuned!

somEthiNG tells me somehow you will...Lol

plus today's BOB MARLEY's birthday,

those who know...knw what to do to eulogize him

*o.t@tler*