Ohakim 2011 (My 2Cents)

It normal for just about anyone to vie for a political office, but it isn't just every one that can function in the service of the people.

Make no mistake either
Rome wasn't built in a day and a palm wine tapper doesn't just leap to the top of the tree, life is a gradual process just as good governance is.

The intent to do good, or function appropriately is always a good sign for a start and we've seen the much our incumbent governor Ohakim has done already.

People are generally ignorant except for those who go out of their way to change the status quo. We most times prefer condemnation before even a chance of redemption is given.

We follow false tales and slandering nails as quickly as bees with a stolen honey pot.

Go have a look at
http://www.ohakim2011.com and even the lay men would be put in the know, as to the much our governor has done so far. Its normal if we aren't conversant with the progress of things or just how effective.

Let's try and reason with ourselves, and work our way back to stability with little steps of logic

This is not the first time we have been made outrageous promises and had our expectations raised high. Free Education no matter how feasible, is going to be hard to actualize in our present day Nigeria with her fast growing population.

Prof. (Mrs.) Viola Onwuliri, a trail blazer in her own right and running mate to Governor Ohakim, is from a well known & respected family background, both from her marriage and birth side.

Vibes around town are that Gov. Ohakim picked that one candidate with the capacity, goodwill, credibility to strengthen his acceptability and chances of securing his re-election bid.

Nonetheless, we shouldn't overlook the fact in as much as it might seem like a selfish ploy, she is the right decision for the people of Owerri and none other would suffice.

As an academician, who better to relate to our cries for the Educational Sector reforms in our dear state?

Who better to be our advocate, when it seems conscience has been thrown to the wind?
Just like with the case of the brutality doled @Mr Iwuoha's Activism*

Just like a wife is to complement her husband in the marriage institution, leading to the overall progress and sustainability of that institution, let's give this joint ticket with a difference, the chance to bring Ndi Imo the much needed change we have been clamouring for.

Dredging of the Imo river is difference enough, its innovation that should be embraced with both hands. Opening Imo State directly to the rest of the highly commercialized water ways*

Join hands, Let's Do More*
We, collectively as one, have the power to wield change, not some Electoral Process or mouth watering promises

Richie's Niche

Ok RichmOnd,
I loved the whole idea of folks coming wit their own drinks & all (Otown boozE heads),
This is the kinda innovation I embrace, biG uPs & many more fruitful years ahead.

That's how a niche is carved out, in stone, in wood, in Life* #Don'tDuLL

Just one (s)table stood out,
like a white stallion in the midst of asses*
bOttLes of whiskey & scotch, upping it a notch with rOsE***

Beggars don't ride white stallions,
so the elites who rode @ this stable were evidently different from the Lot

Gfs and acquaintances were left @ home,
Those without BBs & dint get the broadcast, were left out too**

Dane guns were shot,
& the tame were absent in lots
It was good to see peeps wild & somewhat out of control*

If you know futo you'd know it ain't the norm & worth mentioning,
just like Jennifer & her midnight face cap are worth mentioning too*
(By the Oak tree all night)

Does it have to do with that celeb thingy, not making eye contact with fans?? Or is it just as glaring??... something wrong with the hair??

+ why do I get the feeling bathroom slippers are now in vogue?
A lot of daring folks but Emeka, your monologue is unique to you and your room mate (Cj) with waist like a bearing (Lol)

There's nothing I hate more than the shorts up ur supposedly sexy gown**
Its just appalling, looking like a zebra & all

I'm not gonna name names,
since we all were @ a parry to have fun*
BUt Ella, you've got legs to die for...good thing I still got life in me (Lol)

There was George the brigadier of guards, who was seen all through protecting his interest, lest history repeats itself (To Whom it may concern)

Iheoma, nice gOwn*
Where were you hiding all that sexiness prior??

Cherechi, really wat was that?
Joan rivers would have a bitch fit if she spotted you in those... who does that???didn't know it was #RagDay all over again cc @(chukwu)nonye who thought it was a slumber party, or was it? I could have sworn that was granny's gown

*O.t@tLEr*

happy VaL7_ dAy

Living without Love,
is like walking alone through life, in the scorching sun with no one to make the journey any less painful

so its understandable,
downright admissible the lengths we get to,
or the Lies we peddle, to self & otherwise

just to keep that feeling burning within,
the same one, that momentariLy makes everything ok, or @least seem so*

The significance of Saint VaLentine's Day border on two things,
*#Love & Affection#*

The magnitude and dimensions in which the two are put in play, are totally dependent on the individual

It could be a grand dinner @ the hilton,
Or painstakingLy nice table cloth & a home cooked meaL with love

It could be the norm, or a slight deviation from it, time out with usual friends;
Or a day with total strangers,
the motherless & in need of some love

Or pOpcoRn & two movies,
the couch, the plasma (or 15") & the Mrs.

Its the intent & fulfillment that really matter,
you need not incure nothing, rather conjure the love within...say it, show it & try to outLive it *wink*

but then again I guess we don't have lots of WaJE's in otown,besides wetin concern Ala Ngwori with Mission Impossible?
JOoR oOoO!!! Lol

I won't exactly call the Sunflower a rare flower,
but useful is more like it.
It's an annual flower native to the Americas, but her seeds were exported to Europe in the 16th Century

I dare liken a woman to a Sunflower,
it might seem crazy but I do have a point (Lol)

Her stems contain a fibre that can be used in paper production, sunflower oil is a widespread cooking ingredient & her leaves are widely accepted by the cattle as feed.

she workable & supportive,
while you drive on a two way street
unlike the Rose,

Who is beautiful at first but soon withers when & if Money hits the dooR and maintenance is the highest hurdle (##)

Ambiguous as you are, it aint no Biggie,
you don't leave your sUnfLoweR for frivolities, such as pretty Lips (Uchechi) & a number of the things that should matter the least.

know it is the norm to be the Light unto her paths, her torch (nOnso) in utter Darkness, but the flip side has its upsides although we might choose to be myopic about it *wink*
let Linny be boLd & stiLL beAutifuL,

it aint all about curves,
don't you hear all these clamour for women empowerment....Lol (#GoFiguRe)

you might be fierce (Diane) and all,
its one roll of the Dice, on the other hand two rocks of ice (Cj)... twice as nice!!
things are not always what they seem, Cream or sugar?!

Happy Vals Day Owr
*o.t@tLeR*

2 B ContinueD, testing the waters

hApi nEw yeAr***

I'm really sorry it took me so long
to wish y'all a Happy Newyear,

Without my saying it,
I'm sure everyone already envisages a good year ahead*
I feel it too, & know without a doubt that it would be

It feels good to be back,
Pls easy on d verbal attacks

Otown's bubbLing,
Swear down

Thr are radiantly glowing skins,
with brilliantly looking shades*

elegantly dressed peeps,
With Gallant steps*

Everyone is a sight to behold,
Leaving stories of the strike untoLd and just the hols & all in fold

I've missed my town,
& I'm sure y'all have missed my buzz**

TheRe are nEw spOts too,
'OranGe roOm' is tOpping my cHaRts (if its worth anything)

yOu get to chiLL out,
WhiLe u pLay scRabbLe with gUd music bLasting rather softLy througH the sPeaKeRs*
Its a mUst touCh I'd say***

I'm stiLL intO advertS,
It'd be guD to see someone 21st CeNTuRy enough to utiLize this*

S/O to my gossip bLogger wanna be,
I won't name names so as not to accrue unnecessary attention for the GOssiP-Digger*
(Lol)

New courses have been added to the curriculum in FUTO,
French & iGBo have been added in place of Engineering Drawing for year oneZ*
(Not my biz just helpn some ppL point that out)

I'd have really loved my first post of the year to be a blast, but I hope past gLories heLp me saiL smoothLy**

Adios,
*O.t@tLeR*

jOuRNaLs oF eXpeRienCe

By JeffeRy OkpaLeKe

The melancholic ideology called tradition
Is settled on my mind
I can't think for this period
(No I can't think straight)
(No I wont employ a quays advice)
tempted to make erratic decisions
And loose my mind
Allow my feelings only to be uncovered by my actions
Words are only a conversation
Actions are the exact words of a conversation
The matter has weighted
And occupies the occupation of life
Life is like a trailer
A short/long story
That just flashes the amazing parts of the clip
In brief
The hero should win in the end
U assume.
You look forward to the happy ending
No! Its all politics in this flick
Yes the good die young.
And hollywood keeps on with production
Its an alcoholics ending I say
Sad and gloomy.
Its an endless journey of suspense
God is your only direction.

sands of time
As the wind of the world
Carries dust away
Men will be born
Live
And pass away

Dear OwerRi*

Dear OwR,
i knOw its been long i said a word*
buh hope i still don't strike u a tuRd, & same goes for those who think i'm a sturb.

i dint rUn,
neither did i turn....im still me!!!
the stRike's been called off,
now see if the caT still has my tongue* (Lol)

just messing around,
buh the fact is i've missed y'all

the comments under posts are the icing on my cake,
i love em like a fat kid loves chocolate*

the controversies, a tOkEn
the winds that leave the fowl's buttocks open*

oh, how i miss the incessant blinking of the red notiF lite on my BB,
all from your comments....u chase boredom from me, by just reading through
(i'm sure the feeling is mutuaL)

so all i ask fOR is tHat chancE tO make yOU & mE happy again!!
no one would say they dint enjoy the riDe,
even @ points whr its your ox that's goreD#

for hiTs beLow the beLt,#
i'm sorry*
(that was meaniE me#)

there's twitter, there R bRoacAsts*
i'd get your attention somehow#

nO one knows it all,
let's join hands in redefining mE

#fuck dat shit, wussy tattLeR....uve said enuf already*
I'm in charge now & I'm the me u useD to knw

its pEace Out 4 n\Ow.

*O.t@tLeR*

#RIGHT2VOTE

Its time for us the youth to be a part of something great, as should be the norm.

I've got biG ideaS for this bLog of mine, and its an idea biG enough for us to share & benefit from.

Its election time

Its no news that many of our aspirants gunning for various positions, are tuRninG to the new media for campaigns. There's twitter, facebook (G.E.J) & different youth outreach sites to get our attention.

If your smaRt enough, you'd have already figured our where I'm going with this....I want our very own otattler.blogspot.com to be added to my prior list.

I'm hoping by now, most of us have dislodged the personal vendattas we had with this blog, & now have our eyes open to see that otattleR is biggeR than any person; its our (otowners) voice to the rest of the woRLd & I suggest we begin to use it cautiously, wiseLy.

We have a rigHt to vote, & come 2011 we plan to exercise those rights. We have a right to endorse whomever we deem feat & just to lead us into our best of tomorrows.

So pls no rash comments, we know you knw how to use swear words, under the guise of anonymity. I need your contributions on how to forge ahead, so I'm not labeled unJust as I've been previousLy taGgeD.

I haLf scaRed as to your reactions to tHis post,
But bRinG it on...we'the make it a foRum, doesn't matter wHat kinD.

*O.t@tLeR*

BBz & MatchBoxes

My town isn't backward after all, oTowneRs are moving at the same pace as the rest of the world. I'm talking about going along with the bLackBeRry craze that recently swept the country.

Don't go misusing the functions or getting it twisted, the BlackBerry is a business gadget in the sense that it keeps you abreast with the trends as they set & emails on the go, not a medium of gOsSip or a show of class. Having one doesn't make you better than the next, or classier, it onLy means you found it necessary to acquire one.

Its the latest good stuff to hit Nigeria after Opera mini & countless cheat codes; considering the fact that we've got to leave mediocrity and feel at ease paying for services being rendered, the BIS fee, although way too exorbitant at the moment, is a welcome development.

If you've recently realized that you seldom receive phone calls or seem left out of the loop, I'm only guessing its cos you haven't got yourself one. They say it makes friendship a whole lot easier, I think I endorse that school of thought a 100%.

This isn't my usual sinister self, so the MatchBox ish isn't a personal dagger aimed at anyone in particular. An efficient automobile is one that gets you from Point A to Point B, without the hassles of hopping from one keke to another and trekking the rest of the way, on routes you haven't exactly mastered or those not motor able.

My point to this, there's no need waiting to take the highWay to wealth with a 180km/hr speed limit. Just like it is said in the hoLy books, all is vanity and it is always better to learn that sooner than later. So if you're privileged to have a working car, feel free and ride in it with your heads held up high.

Slow & Steady wins the race, I know normally this turkey won't fly with me bUt winning the race is all about arriving the end alive and doing so with the least of regrets. I'm talking about *yAhOo* and its many other fraudulent counterparts, I hear many oTownERs have taken things to the extreme by engaging in despicable acts & taking extreme measures (yAhOo +). In the end, its all vanity, trying to impress, trying to oppress, feeling among, getting more ass than a skirt, they're all vanity. There's a time for everything, its only normal that we should learn to wait.

For my BB folks and those literate enough to access the internet, hit me up with emails, we could run this shit together. If you love my works you could do the same, everyone loves to feel appreciated.

Plus, #FF (follow) me on twitter @otattler. Shout out to my current #FFs to name but a few, @moby247 @chayomao @T_babaa @ceekayMe @icey312 @Mirab3ll3z3 @KokoletteTeddy @prittypreachuju @supar_cee @jayboogie_912 @m3xy_903

*o.t@tLeR*

birthing a nEw LeAf witH jUSt wOrDs*!

Turning a new leaf is a prerequisite for not being a withered one*!, so you see...its better L8 than never, when amending our ways is the motive.

'Outta the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks'
»» we are what we say!
'so says the HoLy bOok'

•Good words are imperative for a good life; Asides speaking good things about myself like I always do, I'd also begin speaking good about Otown & I urge y'all to do same, bAd words never produce a +ve effect!

*yOu leAd by exampLe, riGht?
I'm sorry for anY slanderous & image demeaning tattles on my pOst!
it was all done in goOd fate,
But now I understand that you cannot speaK into being any 'GoOD' with bad! & for that, is why I'm sOrRy...I'd adopt a more +ve approach! can't fathom what it would be yet, but I'd strive to*!

We've got bright minds in this tOwn!...we've got ppl with a taste for innovation, we only have to speak & work positivity into it.

*opportunities are endless#
#tHinK it; #spEak it; &#work it into being

StOp tHe rAntinGs about oBiaKu, beneath all that...there's still that common ground we all share! #she'sonLyHumAn

& abOut mY laSt poSt, it was all about speculations...I dint say for certain dAt any oF thosE mentioned really have anY of the things STated!....I was jUst speaking the things maiNLy on the lipS of otowners, coated in LOads of english (o kwa i ma, ashiri ka mma na bekeE...Lol)

I know mOst oF uS here havE our faults, buT I've never seen a mOre alive populace. Some anonymous peRsOn droPpeD a comment on my last post, inquiring as to why I was wasting my obvious literary talents on this toWn. Reason being that nothing I say caN change the actions of O'inhabitants, bUt I beg to diFfeR!

There's been a drastic change in the way ppl go about thEir biz these days, @ first its aLL about hiding from Otattler's prying eyes or trying so hard not to give me something to talk about...bUt in tHe LonG ruN, their's an iota of chaNge in our actions (4d beTter).

Ppl nw throw classier parties, for fear of being ridiculed by my literary bullets (Lol, tHis is mE makinG mockery of what I've been trying 2 do in tHis tOwn) but I hOpE for an owr whr ppl are productive & not jUst engulfed in the nothingness thAt has prEsenTLy befallen the town.

Let's make an exception and call this spade (o'tOwn & O'inHabitAnts) a golden tea spoon for a change & we just might dine with royalty, in eventuality »» I hAvE faith wE all wiLL, yOu have too??

*o.t@tLeR*

venereal & post-venereal!

OK
I'm back now! My great & unanticipated silence has left everyone flaunting a lil too much of the dirt they've got in them! Now I've got reason to tattle again!

More visits to Jonny Pharmacy and 'special' maternities around amakohia, you'd notice that this rain is acting as a dual catalyst! More babies are lost and more are about to be born all in the space of 8months +, to be very precise. Well u just got to the fuNny part of me.

Now let's do d counting!
Uzunma...(Clean and Green). Gonorrhea is really a bad disease to suffer from during this wet phase, where bacteria and fungi have better chances of survival. She hasn't gotten much of a problem, guys beware...go for a test with her if u doubt me, the Tattler!!

Sha...sha...Sharon..plus Shu..shuuu...Shukpo...this one na combo bombo! The kind of itches you'd get from these two vendors would leave u devastated for long enough a time of your sexual life....Beware! Don't have facts, but that's what the public's screaming, you know they have a way of being right...not definite though!

Ezichi Sapphire...go easy on them postinors oh! Personally, o wu ghi che re ka m bia!, I know they leave an after effect of a slippery womb later on in life (& by slippery I mean, unpredictable! 50_50 chance of being able to conceive). I'm guessing you'd still want to have those cute lil sapphires, right?! A word's enough, don't know if you're wise.

Chinenye 'Konti' Nduka!
Your level of sexual infidelity amazes me, going mildly about everything I've heard, you could be in for some serious shocker not too long from now. Even under all dis rain ( a curse & blessing likewise to most), you hang around these pot-bellied men who are known to be serious carriers of one thing or the other. They possess either the 9months I.T placement letters or some death sentence, duly signed by the medical judge...you are Forewarned oh! Don't say I didn't say it, next time I could get the wives on your trail by naming names

MaDox, I'll let the whole O'town know your status soonest...like I always say, it aint far-fetched knowing for certain your records! I'm sorry if you feel betrayed though, but I won't be so quick to judge, if I were you...might just be doing a good friend a favor. There's been a lot of rumour going around lately about your positively inclined status, and the louder their voices get...the more shallow discerning ppl will believe it.

*O.t@tler*

titLE??

owums,
you dint have to go all the way to ugwuta so i dont talk!

should have realised by naw dat i would,
hapi belated birthday anyways!

Nnamo really did rock your world,
you honestly didn't think i had the slightest idea?

anyways,
i'd watch you thread the same paths many have indulged in
...& i'd be here when its over and done with

Ifeanyi Ekeh,
wat are you doing holed up in lagos

you had everyone believe ur abroad,
don't you know these lies hav a way of springing up?

i'm asking alot of questions,
i've lost my zeal

its same old...same old,
i didn't get otowners to act right
...just got them to do the same bad things with the utmost discretion

aren't you all tired of talking about the Iheme's?
aint their fault they're accustomed to silver

or that every owr gal's a potential ashy,
depending on d definitive parameters!

dont go attacking me just yet,
make sure you understand wat exactly was said first

t-baba...joy ochije,
need not explain wat went down!
fura's mad already!

some anonymous dude suggested i show myself,
wont want anyone to make minced meat of me
....till i'm sure you all hav learnt to handly the ugly truths i dish out

*o.t@tler*

feeDbAcks

Zinny paLLy!
last time i checked...your last name wasn't pally!

are you basking so much in the euPhoria,
that you had to adopt his last name?

don't you think its high time you considered
leaving that married man for his deaR wife?

remember one good turn deserves another!
...& that karma's a real biTch

hey Uju Agb*gU,
its been a while...thought to kick up your own story!

do you still drAw those bEdsheet maPs?...Lmao!
i'm sure you didn't see that coming, jUst messing with yOu

hOw about all them catFights you engage in over men?
(i didn't say 'bOys' or 'gUYs')

these things aren't personal,
its actually meant to be a level playing fieLd out thEre!

survival of the sexiest,
the oLder you get...the further down the list you're pushEd!

Lynda song!
what's uP?...haven't gotten any reports about you sneaking in & out of the mansion
(i've got mY tentaCles on yOu & a hOst of oTherS)

in all ramifications,
a 'biG fiSh' aint exactly a striking figure,
so oma wuchi has got some explaining to do, as to what struck her!

don't tell me its your lethal pockets?...Lol

well as the saying goes,
birds of the same feathers flock together!
(see 9 lines above, if you don't gEt)

eTafO's tEddY!
pls get rid of those tattoOs!
for your sakes and mine...hope they aren't permanent!

aWommamma gals,
you all are advised to be weary of your rotund selves inside kekeS,
before they come crashing down with you in it!...LOl
(one of the feeDbacks i got in my mAil...not me oh!)

*o.t@tler*

*come -->> back*

thought i was some biG name in owr!
but apparently,
i've got tO wOrk my way up the laDder like every other struggling venture
& yEt i'm surprised i haven't got mE no competitors springing up here and there yet!

once upon a time
i was loved (or atleast hated) by all of owr...not sO sure about noW!!
wiLLing to try though,
...talking about winning back your love or its hostile conterpart

haPi buFdai mAka (18/05),
congraTs on your graduation too!
so sorry to pry though...bUt who's the slim'ish,
fine feddy gal you're always seen with?

the new one?!
thought it was jennifer?...(anyways, you'd always have me confused)

she finally got into school?!
thought she gave Up on school(ing) a long time ago?
*crystal* jamila*...which do i take pls?

CherechY,
you're an ojimgbo material...don't think otherwise oh!
the finely constructed phonetics don't have me fooled

seems you've been infected by jenny & the boy craze,
no bOttles in extreme conditions pls!

i hear oBinzE's the new sodom & gOmorrah!

lesbianism's now the norm!
lots of make out sessions alongside weedY sessions

& just as they showcase their soft sides,
same goes for the harder 3/4

hear the female fraternities are the ones pulling their weights over there,
while thier male counterparts have obviously got a thing or two to learn!

pls oh,
i was directed to ask this personally,

is chiNgy rYan junior still a student?
oR just beinG helD back bY lOve? (....'yeah, she would marry you' Lol)

*o.t@tler*

...suppOsed iMpliCatIoN

Don't know how fast gist flies in this town anymore,

seems like i'm the only one doing all thE worK...Lol

But i'm guessing some, if not most of you have heard that

your very own owr tattler was at 'ebe ngwori'...imsu junction yesterday evening!

their weekly request show witH rEal pLAyer
was on

& yours truly requested 'impLIcaTion' by tU fAce

intended getting a few ppl implicaTed...Lol,

bUt there was lil or nothing to report

maybe with the exception of dJ T-jOe (of oriEnt fM)'s birthday!

haD alot of cash to throw around,

& equally enough folks to throw it @!

maybe a lil teenie weenie gossip!

thE fisH was superb!

some of you think i aint got no gossip, no more?

You'd be surprised,
was only on a self acclaimed vac!

i neeD NOT tell yOu to stay tuned!

somEthiNG tells me somehow you will...Lol

plus today's BOB MARLEY's birthday,

those who know...knw what to do to eulogize him

*o.t@tler*

...nw sends txt msgs

By nOw i'm sure some of you hav gotten my personalised text msgs

& wondering how in the world its possible
(like i always say, it aint rocket science)

they were nothing too serz though...just a lil e-blackmail & 'what's up'

i'm also sure some of you would try and hunt me down through this,

GoodLuck to you on your quest,
i'd love to see bauer or chloe try...Lol

*o.t@tler*

sOwinG tHe sEed oF disCorD

i've seen alot of ppl talking bout friends
and how unreliable they could be

& i'm forced to say this,
are yOu just knowing that?

you're all alone in this world
any dealings with others would have to attract some sort of benefit on their part
& yours too

FRIENDSHIP IS MUTUAL

just as one way relationships never go well,
no one wants a stagnant friend

....no plus whatsoever,
is a no plus however!

i'm sure we all were advised to make every friend count,
...a particular area of upliftment @least!

when pUsh turns to sHove!*
--->> ndu wU akpa,
onye o bula nya nke ya!

that's a lil food for yOur thots,
don't digest it all at once

steer clear of the miserable & unhappy,
aids aint the only thing that's contagious

@least 48 Laws of Power was cock sure about it,
don't go carrying undue baggage

don't make the mistake about telling ppl your problems,
70% don't give a shit....& 30% are gLaD!

i know its kinda contradictory to the saying that goes thus:

a problem shared,
is a problem half solved

i'd only believe this if you'd argue that talking about it only makes you feel better,
not it actually solving anything

*(atleast not in this present day)*

take a look @ it,
that very important assignment

...that bf,
the friend you told so much about him,
& she turned around to use it to strike her own deal?

that trying moment!,
tHEy just happened to be in no position to profer any solutions?
or they would have if situations were different

NO!
there's a limit to what another person can do for you

they know the number of kilometers out of their way,
that they can go for you!

after that,
its O.Y.O (on your own)

don't think i'm bitter,
or just got snitched on by a true friend

...i haven't had me one of those in aGes
just a bunch of friends with benefits!

you've got a car,
i need to get around my many engagements in style
--->> i get the fuel

you've got mary & kay,
i've gOt mack & need a lil kAY!

you automatically become my 'kay' friend without knowing it,
& for a while you think its that charming personality of yours

Wrong!

*o.t@tler*

-> sPOt <-

Chieke Felix,
Heard you're Mr. Campus?

Did'nt they give you the car they promised?
Why are you always seen driving Mrs. heartland's car?

is it just a couple thing or are you guys actually meant to share?

SpOtTed too! Yommy

dResseD in office shirts,
a pair of nice jeans & a footwear to gO with the trEnd!

LOoks like she's changed her normal dress code of tucked in tee'z & sneakers with school bag
(not the samE as laptOp backPack)

also spOtted, tattle prime suspects!
meka ekpo (brown pOlice tee, carry a purple T.M Lewin pAper bAg)

& his suspected affiliate, bookie
Lacy green turtle neck & obviously jeAns,
haiR flowing in the wind (just like in a photO shoot)

were seEn cruising arOund Otown yesterday in a 'self converted' covertible keke,
having a drink enroute whrever!

smiling sheepishly
& obviously having a swell time (...wondering why)

thought you two were rumoured to hav dissolved the relationship?
is that truE or was it otowners trying to do my job for me?

*o.t@tler*

thE flExiBilitY of LibeRty

i have this compelling urge to explain in totality the title of this post
but fOr your sakes & mine, hope i don't

we could paint 1001 pictures
to portray our habits in a better light

trust me i've heard a few good ones....even spurn some myself
bUt the truth's still the truth!!

we're on the riGht doing the things wE feel compelled to,
living our lives however we want to

BUT despite the free will,
the apple also gave us the knowledge of riGht and wRong!

one would expect we'd act accordingly

i'd take on a few common iLLs.

if their butts are half as important as the whole body is,
why then are they left lying around?

...trampled upon by the same feet holding the very hands,
that once cuddled those lil tall slim cylindrical babies

i'm not here to judge,
just to appeal to yOur sense of reasoning!

sense perception is still the best known knowledge acquisition method

what's d point in just after a meal!!
ever stopped to think of it?

more like you want to aid the digestion process,
with a lil combustion

how about its highly elevating counterpart,
no filtering whatsoever...straight to those cells

the ones that get fried,
& have you thinking you're floating

the red torch doesn't instill fear,
or make you seem larger than liFe

first impression?
-->> one with a dirty habit, nothing more

my advice!
carry out future similar activities with the utmost discretion
all those puFFs aren't really cOOl

peddling our bodies in whatsoever manner to chairmen & sugary mamaz,
isn't a trend to follow either or a consequence of peer pressure

its purely chiOce,
with its benEfits & consequEnces!!!

i've gOt a list folks who indulge in this,
bUt i'm still trying to figure out what good publishing it would bring

i hear some govt officials were well taken care of on their last visit to owr,
& even get home services now
(D.T.Az..Duty Tour Allowances dey game too)

i know this isn't exactly gossip,
but otattler isn't all about gossip

read my intro,
i made mentions of trying to get ppl to do the right things

the gossip creates a vast platform to do just that

*o.t@tler*

mEmoiRs oF a faShiOn poLicE ofFicer *part 1*

i wake up in the morning
& take that refreshing yawn

Brush my fine set of white teeth,
take a long shower

get dressed quickly,
but making sure everything goes
(its what i do for a living, who better to look out for these things?)

just before i step out,
i strap on my gadgets!

you're wondering what dey comprise of?
no real slUgs...just my objective sense of reasoning

& an eye for the crimes against fashion!

its burstling out there,
meant to be dangerous for me too

but unlike the real security forces,
i'm not conspicuously dressed!

ifeoma comes along,
one quick shot from me to her knee...*pow*
(those knees + legs, don't go with pedal pushers)

a slight graze to the shoulder,
the shades don't quite go but i could let her off on a lighter note....afterall she aint no pro

next in my line of sight is arabi,

'beach shorts & an office shoe, + a collar'd button down shirt.

*pOw* *pOw*
that's def 2 shots for ya!!
(sorry about the big toe, but i aint sorry about the knee)

i know, i knw
i shouldn't always be about violence
(dialogue is always known to work)

Walk up to Nnenna,
Asked her if she had a rough morn'n
(don't blame me, couldn't spell it right out)

skinniez & a high heeled pair of slipperz
(a no no!)

with a slim Tee.
i know normally that should go,
but you should have tried sneakers instead

a low waist jean & no ass,
what did you intend to expose??

Didi,
I'd give you a 2 ** commendation for them jeans,

the tank would have been anything but bad,
if it wasn't that perfectly slender body you got there

who'z the obnoxiously fat friend?

On sighting that really big belly
in a similar tank top,

i rush off to my car,
to get the gun wit the 2 bigGer nozzles

chk!!,.. chk! -.... poOWw!!
& there was a big hole right through the belly
(letn her go would have been signing up to live with that vision for the rest of my career)

no need returning the pump,
now i'm aware we have really daring offenderz roaming the streets!

you shouldn't be displaying yams in bum shortz,
the smaller nozzle dis time -->> *pOw*!

t-baba,
there'z a particular trend that goes with the waist coat & you aren't exactly living it!

sstzZ* sstzZ* 2 buzzes only

Adrian,
that's one folk who obviously got the memo.

A couple of shirts, teez & collar'd
nice jeans ...sneakers, plim solls*

not forgetn the good combo sense!

-->> that's 3 ***'z from me

Oge!
Who tagGed this classy chic with alansi jeans??

from my point of view naw,
i think its 'true religion' i see!

the maroon handbag & office shirt,
an obvious fit!

unlike vivian who i shot off a bike a couple of mins ago

you'd think it was independence day,
with too much of green & almost negligible white.

Owums,
you're still wanted for thOse granny pants oh!

i need to reload,
be back in a bit!

*o.tattler

Ck,
there's a difference between 'canz' like you call it & sneakers

yeah...sneakers are those you can wear with almost anything,
Airforce 1'z aren't the same thing

That's 2shotz,
i'm taking one leg off @ the knee (chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!)

EffizzY,
i'm most definitely spraying you!
(ra TA tA ta tA *chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!*//*chk!! Chk!----poOWw!!*)

you've been a very daring offender for a while now

We don't have bulky guys with boobs still forming gangster with bandanaz....Lol
(i'm not ready to spare a transgender)

liMiteD pUbliC oFfeRz

hey hey!
stop all the hating ok?

i came up with something,
a plan to push you all into further confusion!

call it a public offer,
but i've got openings now

if you don't really get it,
i'd put you through

you have a chance to work in collabo with otattler!!!
bRing up your stories...true* they must be
(i'D employ my own verification tactics)

it's not d molotov cocktail
aimed @ those who have wronged you

you all are complaining about how i play my ball,
hOw about you come play with me inStead??

show me your versions of
what a true gossip blog is all about,
& trust me...you know i have a thing for innovation?

i'D be sure to post it if its credible,
& probably has a msg!

wE've got bright minds out thEre!

yOu've got your anonymity too,
we don't necessarily need to know who you are!
wE'd just work hand-in-glove!!

i knOw a few have been cajoled on accounts of me,
bUt you all haven't been half as correct!

i'm giving you a sneak preview into my mOdus oPeranDi
ab initio!

sOrRy i knOw i lost some theRE!...Lol
i meant my mode of operation from the start

no one has thiS much gossip
or dirT on this much ppl
(gimme some credit i've gOt about 6o'ish posTs up already)

caLL me Mr. Editor,
caLL me CEO!

it all goes through me!!!

i run thiS shiT,
i do it wEll...i'm sure you'd applaud mY tactics

just like its called in the real world
Limited pubLic oFferz

its actually limited!
first & foremost you'd have to be a follower of my blog

someone recognised atleast by me
its not rocket science, figure it out!

i work with gmail accounts onlY,
you could even catch me online for a quick chat anytime

i've already got ppl on my tattle list,
so hurry!


*o.t@tler*